self_made_human
Kai su, teknon?
I'm a transhumanist doctor. In a better world, I wouldn't need to add that as a qualifier to plain old "doctor". It would be taken as granted for someone in the profession of saving lives.
At any rate, I intend to live forever or die trying. See you at Heat Death!
User ID: 454
self_made_human
Kai su, teknon?
28d ago
Whatever surgery she got (rhinoplasty and a chin lift?), it made her go from homely to Girl Boss Tiger Mom.
I think she'll let him off the leash for a bit.
self_made_human
Kai su, teknon?
28d ago
I appreciate the exhaustive overview!
Do dissents carry any weight as legal precedent, or the rare instances where a new Supreme Court overturns the established precedent intentionally?
self_made_human
Kai su, teknon?
13d ago
Better? As far as I can tell, yes.
Unless there's some identifiable treatable organic cause for the anxiety, mood or personality disorder might the patient improve just as well be guarding against and rebuking the demons of pride, envy, sloth, lust, etc? Especially if most of the available therapy interventions perform as well as each other.
We do have identifiable organic causes for many psychiatric illnesses we did not, within living memory, once have. Subtle and variable ones, but what can other answer can you expect when asking a question that involves most psychiatric diseases under the sun?
I fail to see how the latter follows at all. It's not like therapy is the only tool in the arsenal, psychiatrists are not psychologists, we dole out meds too and once again, they work, even if some of them aren't as effective as could be desired.
self_made_human
Kai su, teknon?
22d ago
Eh, while Indians are hardly at the top of the totem pole, I hardly do badly (trivia, the bottom of the pole is allegedly more prestigious).
Sure, the salary sucks, and NHS doctors are henpecked and taken for granted by a populace used to not paying for showing up at the ER with sniffles.
But I do fine. If you think the girls on dating apps are crazy, wait till you see the kind of screenshots I've been sent about the guys. The very existence of Indians as Model Minorities and often the highest earners by ethnicity is proof that group differences can be overcome by an individual. I'm not the average Indian, or even the average British Indian.
On a more serious note, I've noticed that men who are having decent success (in terms of lots of matches) on dating apps seem to run into a lot of crazies, and it's unsurprising that psych med students have the worst ratio of all. Having "doctor/psych trainee" in your dating app bio kind of screams "do therapy for free, but you can tip me with sex". Neurotypical women also don't really want to date, they want to have a stable relationship, so they spend as little time as possible on these apps, so you're already oversampling from a biased sample.
When I made my account, post breakup, I had genuinely lost hope I'd match (into psych) at all. I was looking for something more serious, but at least half the nutters came from that short period. At that point, it was just "doctor at [reputable hospital]". And I expected to be here for significantly longer, losing my mind in other ways from the terror of bullshit exams. I was advertising a stable relationship, for the little good that did.
At any rate, I do do therapy for free, and find it an enjoyable reprieve from my own problems, including on this very board, though sadly nobody has offered to pay me back with sex quite yet. Upvotes and sincere praise are enough really. But yeah, people dating online are being sampled from the kind of people who are less likely to make it offline, even if it's become normalized and the predominant way people date. Even more so in the West, so the odds of running into the utterly deranged should be lower from a more representative sampling.
So far, I remain convinced that the primary reason therapy, in all its myriad forms, beats placebo, even for the most retarded forms, is because it's a decent substitute for having a nonjudgemental and perceptive friend, the kind who'll keep your secrets to themselves. I'm pretty good at that, even for women I sincerely would not approach without a syringe loaded full of haloperidol or lorazepam. Instead, I just vent to online strangers with more identifiable information redacted.
self_made_human
Kai su, teknon?
25d ago
Hmm.. I do kinda agree with you.
I just spent a while speaking to a suicide survivor. Well, he's hardly out of the woods yet, given that he was in the ICU. But he wasn't my patient in the first place, and I might not be done with psych training, but by god I was the best one I know available at that time, and I walked the dude through a very bad place. And then made sure the cops didn't make things worse, while probably doing better than the poor bastard actually responsible for that particular HDU.
And I talked a suicidal girl I met on a dating app out of it, back to back.
Maybe I do like psychiatry because I see so many psychiatrists doing a fucking terrible job, and I'm confident I can do better. I actually probably can, but perhaps that's only true in India where standards are lower. But I'm heading abroad to learn my shit.
And you're absolutely correct that I wrote my novel because I was pissed at perceived inadequacies and flaws in otherwise decent ones, and thought I could do better.
So, going back to whether adderall causes anxiety--I'm not sure. To me, the anxiety is already there, and adderall just helps me channel it.
I've heard of much worse. If it's not obviously making you anxious, then it's likely a better drug than methylphenidate/Ritalin. And when Scott did a survey on the topic, users ranked it higher, though it's been a long time and I can't remember what the post was.
self_made_human
Kai su, teknon?
28d ago
While I can't empathize with either gay or trans people (in the strict definition of empathy), I certainly sympathize with the latter and mildly envy the former.
You know how, for many men, the ideal girl is "one of the guys"? Well, gay men are living the dream in some ways, such as showing up to a random park or club and being nigh-guaranteed a quick fuck in a toilet stall. Straight men have to work for it.
Ah, women, can't live with them, can't live without them.
As for trans people, particularly the ones with body dysmorphia/gender dysphoria, I happen to be a transhumanist and so approve on principle of any change or improvement one might desire to the prison of one's flesh. I mean, I'm not a 6'9" 42069 IQ ubérmensch, so there's room for improvement within mere biology.
But that doesn't mean that the universe, or the rest of us, are obliged to indulge your desires, especially when it comes to how we accept your self-expression. Trans people, I'll consider them women/men when they are biologically indistinguishable from the average natal man/individual of their desired sex. Until then, well, I'll shake my head and use preferred pronouns mostly because I'm polite.
That is a cheque that medical science as it exists today simply can't cash. No amount of hormones, surgery or makeup will get you there. I still sympathize and empathize with them simply not being happy in their bodies, I think the correct solution is to change the body, when that's feasible.
You are allowed to dream. So do I. But the universe isn't obligated to make it come true, or easily. Simple self-identification is suitable only for football clubs.
As for AGPs? I agree that they're a large fraction, potentially even a majority. I have even less desire to indulge them, but I hardly think they're wrong for being sexually aroused by the idea of femininity.
self_made_human
Kai su, teknon?
28d ago
This why you get no bitches
Ignore me, I'm mildly salty because despite having the dubious distinction of being the first to apply the Secretary Problem in the context of dating, at least on The Motte, I lack the patience or mathematical astuteness necessary for such an in depth analysis. It's highly appreciated, what else can I do but hit AAQC?
self_made_human
Kai su, teknon?
28d ago
I really hope I don't have to resort to necrophilia by the time I'm 36, but either way, I'm sure the coroner will cut me some slack.
self_made_human
Kai su, teknon?
28d ago
A cursory Google search tells me it's 5'9 for white men in the UK and 5'10 in the US.
I know height correlates with income/wealth, but I couldn't find anything about UMC white men specifically. Well, not with the amount of effort I'll give at the middle of a tiring shift.
All I can tell you is that while I'm not as a relatively tall as in India, my time in my UK suggests that it's hardly middle of the pack either.
Even taking at face value your claim that UMC white men are 6' on average, then I'll just be average, which is presumably neutral. And my height isn't doing all the heavy lifting.
You're in the acceptable range for girls when it comes to height, especially the petite ones.
Much shorter, and it becomes a turnoff, much taller, and well.. Whereas for you, it's roughly just neutral.
And while I can't comment on the particulars of who you've dated or fell for, I can assure you that there are plenty of women for whom being short is a deal breaker. Obviously not all of them, note I never claimed that at all. It's a tautology that half of men are shorter than average, and believe me 50% of men aren't unable to find a partner and settle down. It isn't that bad. But unless they're exceptionally rude, most girls won't say to your face that your height isn't good enough, so you might well be missing out on those, especially since you say you've only dated the ones shorter or just very slightly taller. Believe me when I say that I have plenty of female friends, and I've heard them dismiss tons of guys for not being tall enough.
And even if someone is short, they might be handsome. Rich. Be a comedian, or famous. But it's a handicap nonetheless. Simply not insurmountable.
However it is incontrovertibly true that height helps, the more the merrier until you end up in the NBA or die young from back issues.
Now, I don't think I'd be utterly fucked if I magically lost 3 inches, but I know for a fact it would sting, and I want what's best for my kids. If they're a boy and not making the cut, then HGH it is, unless we have something better. I'm confident my height has enabled me to do more than I otherwise could, such as be taken more seriously as a doctor, or land women who demand that in men.
I am certainly doing my best to ensure my kids have the other advantages you mention, such as being at least (hopefully) UMC when they're born, seeing someone cute so that there's a chance they're born with decent looks (not that I'm ugly, just average, 7/10 on a good day), and I demand my partner is smart, which is also genetic.
You won't see me knocking up a 10/10 bimbo, let alone wifing one. But height is something that's done a lot for me, and I'll go to great lengths to ensure it advantages my kids.
Now this is a place where you'll be hard pressed to find a useful answer, unless you wish to go the trouble of submitting a profile for someone here to look at it. Though you could definitely do that in person, with people you know. You could even DM me, should you deem me worthy of your trust.
Consider the following:
- Are you attractive? Be it yes or no, pick images that maximize it. People are much less picky in person, should things progress to a date. I'm not talking catfishing, but flattering shots are IMPORTANT.
- How old are you? For men, until the wrong side of your 30s, older can be better.
- Is your job one that signals social status or at least wealth?
- How tall are you?
- Do you have "cool" hobbies? Don't put MTG or video games here, for the love of god.
- Can you write an interesting or funny bio?
Sadly the most important step is number 1. Be VERY thoughtful about the pictures you put there.
The ideal photo has the following properties:
- Taken by someone else. In other words, not obviously a selfie. That signals having friends or a social life.
- You're dressed well. Or have a physique conducive to not having to dress much.
- You're doing something interesting.
- Got a pet? Especially a dog? Put them in there, ideally doing something cutesy with you.
If you're really down bad, get a professional photographer or a friend who's good at it to take your photos. I make do with my brother's obscenely expensive iPhone.
If you think you can make an honest self assessment of the other answers or tell us about it, even without a photo, I can at least roughly approximate your chances. Either way, if you're not naturally super hot, then you're going to be in for a rough time. But the degree of roughness can vary, and hell, it'll help you out if you're looking for someone serious for whom looks aren't the be all and end all.
self_made_human
Kai su, teknon?
29d ago
Yes. Yes it will.
It won't make food taste worse. But it will reduce your craving for it and make you feel full earlier.
self_made_human
Kai su, teknon?
4d ago
Motherfuckers knew precisely what they were doing with the female voice. The male one is a dweeb in comparison and can't even sing.
No wonder Sama specifically called out Her as an inspiration, I've been entirely resilient to the charm of chatbots till date, but even I'm crushing hard on that voice alone.
They even got it to speak in something other than mealy-mouthed corpo language, thought the traces are still there.
self_made_human
Kai su, teknon?
13d ago
It's routine (or at least best practice) to order a whole heap of blood tests when doing a work up for someone with depression. Add on polysomnography too.
Thyroid deficiencies, sleep apnea, neurological issues like Alzheimers or Parkinsons, they all can produce depression, or be comorbid with it.
So while there's no blood test to diagnose depression-in-itself, any decent psychiatrist will figure out if there's something else wrong with the body, and treat accordingly. But in the end, we have no reliable way of pointing an instrument at someone and get DEPRESSED or NOT DEPRESSED back. Hence the whole talking to them and using standardized questionnaires, which does work mind you, even if we don't have anything significantly better once we've ruled out the body fucking with the mind in other ways.
To no one's surprise, Scott has written about this at length and I feel like there's little for me to contribute, yet.
For example, this one https://slatestarcodex.com/2020/01/15/contra-contra-contra-caplan-on-psych/, though he's written more about it on ACX not that long ago.
self_made_human
Kai su, teknon?
15d ago
Most people would be repulsed by the idea, presented so badly. Far better to take over an existent social media site and flood it with the higher quality of bots.
Improved quality of discourse, and let's face it, once you finetune them out of their ability to say the n-word, most people would barely notice.
self_made_human
Kai su, teknon?
20d ago
Look, I won't actually runaway screaming when someone tells me they're BPD. Or they're schizophrenic. I just consider it an absolute deal breaker in romance, going off personal experience gained very painfully.
At most, I will be mildly concerned, but they're not an imminent threat to me unless I'm a close friend or relationship partner, so I intend to avoid that. I don't react to schizos by pulling out a gun, the people they hurt the most are usually themselves, but in my experience, people with BPD are a menace to both themselves and others.
Since she mentioned she's potentially autistic, from what you've said I can't rule out the possibility that her "murder random people with HIV" thing is just low-level intrusive thoughts that she easily ignores and also talks about (when most people wouldn't) because autistic hyperhonesty.
That isn't my impression at all, I feel like she was very serious about it. I have screenshots because, goddamn, people wouldn't believe me if I didn't, at least IRL, and going over them makes me think she's going to end up messing things up very badly. BPD, trans and potentially autistic? That's a recipe for disaster if I've ever heard one.
If you're doing okay, that's great, I'm genuinely happy for you. Manifesto posting on this underwater basket weaving forum is a healthy alternative to cutting yourself or chasing your SO with a knife, and your mod record is pretty clean, so I can't imagine that you act worse IRL than you do on a pseudonymous website.
self_made_human
Kai su, teknon?
20d ago
Hmm.. I assume my experience here is markedly different primarily because the general level of awareness surrounding mental health in general, and BPD in particular, is so poor that anyone who still manages to get the label is absolutely fucking insane.
And of course, there are plenty of people who keep things under control or are barely worth the diagnosis. And it's the flagrant cases who get signal boosted. Would we know Freddie De Boer was schizo, or Scott had OCD, if they didn't tell us?
calm down just by aging
That's about as reassuring as the same effect in violent criminals, who do age out of their tendencies. I'd rather not have to wait that long, so I hear BPD, I'm fucking out, at least romantically.
self_made_human
Kai su, teknon?
21d ago
Huh. Is this one of those? Because it doesn't seem that way to me, except when I'm explicitly looking at filtered ones. Good point, maybe I'll raise it with Zorba. Either way, it's a perfectly inoffensive comment, so I'll take it as a prompt to clear the queue while the others are sleeping.
self_made_human
Kai su, teknon?
21d ago
I find the accent endearing, and I understand them well enough, though some scotch makes it even better.
You seem to be good at spotting the dysfunctional ones, and they get extremely dysfunctional
I suppose this is a plus, given that I'm working as a psych trainee there for the next 3 years. It would kinda suck for me to end up somewhere where everyone is sane, though I'd be very happy for them lol.
What concerns me is that a lot of these women hide their issues from a shrink, and only open up to a flirtatious yet good at getting people to talk guy like me. For example, the law student, and another lawyer (we were old acquaintances before running into each other on Bumble, and now I'm an unpaid relationship counselor for her too), disclose maybe 5% of what the fuck is going on to their psychiatrists and therapists.
Now, I'd call myself perceptive, but I'm not a mind reader, so I'm groaning at the notion of teasing these things out from actual patients, especially since flirting with them is off the cards.
Also, Highland Scots drive like particularly suicidal third worlders, so you'll be well-prepared for them
Understandable. If you run into someone on a narrow country lane, there can only be one (someone has to drive in reverse).
self_made_human
Kai su, teknon?
21d ago
Never, ever, EVER, sleep with someone you can diagnose with BPD easily. You're welcome. cries
Duly noted, good sir, but in my particular case I didn't have to even sleep with them for one to take a very good shot at ruining my life. That one was the ex of my own best friend at the time (and I ended up catching his schizophrenia in med school myself).
Excuse me what the fuck with that head bleed.
23 yo M med student, final year. No comorbidities is a mild exaggeration, since he had borderline hypertension. His dad was a captain in the Merchant Marine, out at sea when this all went down, but just a week prior, had gotten his son a full checkup, including a then highly unnecessary NCCT brain. All squeaky clean.
Kid was slightly obese, we had some issues getting a line in the EJ.
Anyway, he was in between his written exams and OSCEs, when he was at home with his mom and developed a splitting headache. Got taken to a GP, who told him not to think so much about exams or women, and to sleep it off with a paracetamol.
Face started drooping shortly after, was brought to the ER convulsing, immediately sedated and intubated, rolled into the ICU, then SICU, bleed considered too small for neurosurgery at the time.
I counseled his family, or rather his mom, his friends, most of them from non-medical backgrounds barring the girl, who wouldn't know what a pontine hemorrhage was if it hit her in the head
The senior consultant, the rest of the hangers on, none of them could convince his mom who was having a fully justified meltdown to go home. She wanted to spend the entire night shivering on a bench (no separate accomodations for the family of an ICU patient). I spent about two hours coaxing, cajoling, arguing, bribing and finally convincing the poor lady to go home after everyone else failed.
The dude was actually improving for the first week, with spontaneous eye opening, some degree of following of commands. Then he had said rebleed, shunt placement didn't help, his GCS dropped to 2T, I got chewed out by a neurosurgeon for asking if he was brain dead, and said brain death was informally relayed two days later, and formally declared a week later when his dad was airlifted off Taiwan and brought to say goodbye.
Funnily enough, no AVM found on multiple kinds of imaging, including an MR angiogram. No kidney disease either. As far as anyone could tell, it was just bad luck. And as far as I can tell, the stereotypes about neurosurgeon ego are entirely justified and universal.
Social media autism
Autism really is my best guess. Zero interpersonal skills, extremely blunt, genuinely curious about how men think about women and what they consider as red flags or worthy of avoidance, with absolutely no insight into her own behavior. The last bit isn't genuinely bad, just an example of how she really seemed clueless. Sure, she could definitely have asked someone far worse at answering that question, but if you need to ask. Shame Aspergers has been deprecated, it was a useful one. Plus she had the same, nigh inevitable, descent into undifferentiated insanity I've seen in every gyno resident, barring the men, who seem to be rather sane. Is she actually mentally ill? I have no idea, but she was off.
Tell them Tylenol is the absolutely worst way to die and to use Melatonin instead.
Absolutely genius. She's fucked up her sleep cycle enough as is, I can pass it off as a dangerous, controlled sleeping med.
self_made_human
Kai su, teknon?
22d ago
To add to the irony, your comment caught a report for lack of effort. This job is going to age me, and I do it for free.
REDACTED: Just no. REDACTED: antagonistic
Whoever reported this, I'm not sure what you want the mods to do about someone's severe depression and self loathing. Like sure, I'm a psych trainee, but in my remit as a moderator, what the hell are we supposed to do? Warn someone for being mad at themselves? Ban them for uncharitable comments and antagonism towards their own person? Bruh. This isn't Reddit, we don't have a bot directing people to a suicide helpline number, for all the dubious good that does.
To you, well, you might be all of the above but you're far from a single issue posting Eeyore-maxxer like Skookum, so I'm just pointing out my exasperation at people who think this is report worthy.
self_made_human
Kai su, teknon?
23d ago
There's addiction and there's addiction. I know plenty of patients who were addicted to drugs and no longer are, in the sense that they have no more physiological and psychological cravings.
There are, of course, many different kinds of drugs. Getting over a hankering for coffee or nicotine is a whole different kettle of fish compared to meth or strong opioids, or benzos.
Biological experiments? Hardly. It's not like there's a One True Guide To Parenting, so everyone has to figure it out as they go. It's no bigger a deal than getting them glasses, feeding them plenty of leafy greens and so on. It just sounds unusual and strange to you, but you're not a decoupler.
I have their best interests at heart. I wouldn't do anything to them I didn't want done to me.
I wish I could say that every parent wants the best for their kids, but in my case, it's true as far as I can tell.
Blonde women are rated hotter. Hence so many fake blondes. Women with bigger breasts are more attractive, hence boobjobs. Taller guys are the same, and well, at least their height won't be "fake". So it goes for athletics, education and everything else a parent thinks is optimal for their child.
I don't expect my kids will work for a living. I don't expect anyone will. But to the extent that I'm not nearly 100% confident in that hypothesis, well, it's my job as their future dad to do everything I can for them.
I don't really care, if people get boob jobs, dye their hair blonde or try to do anything else that improves their lot in life.
"Oh woe is me, you shouldn't put your kid through college, and shouldn't ask for your wife to have at least an undergrad degree, don't you know it's just setting up said degree being mandatory for your kids?"
"Oh you shouldn't expect your kids to study hard in school, don't you know it's a zero sum competition, yada yada?"
Things don't work that way. As long as you don't major in underwater basket weaving, or worse, the arts, college is usually a very net positive return on investment.
So, being better versed in the benefits of height and the risks of HGH, I consider it a net benefit in expectation. I expect to know better in that regard than you do, but it's no skin off my back if you object.
After all, you are woefully confused if you think HGH, given in barely supraphysiological doses over years, is remotely comparable to dosing up to the gills with hormones mainly produced by the other sex. We know the safety of the former, and as I've mentioned, look at Lionel Messi, who would have been a 5'2" or thereabouts bitter could have been if his doctors weren't more considerate. I know what I'm signing them up for.
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