self_made_human
Kai su, teknon?
I'm a transhumanist doctor. In a better world, I wouldn't need to add that as a qualifier to plain old "doctor". It would be taken as granted for someone in the profession of saving lives.
At any rate, I intend to live forever or die trying. See you at Heat Death!
User ID: 454
self_made_human
Kai su, teknon?
1d ago
I didn't resist the urge to lecture her at length about how despite women being more likely to attempt suicide, men are far more successful at it. Got my hair pulled again for the trouble. I'm beginning to see why I always preferred women older than me, though I'm no spring chicken now.
Paracetamol is a terrible way to go, as you correctly point out. We had a scandal recently where a doctor was admitted, post suicide attempt, with liver failure. She was cheating on her husband, another doctor, and had ended up pregnant with the other dude's child.
Her own family disowned her, refusing to even consider donating their livers, whereas the poor bastard she married was willing to give up his, or that of his brother. Sadly, or happily, IMO, neither of them were compatible, and in India, people with organ failure from suicide are heavily deprioritized for transplant lists. At any rate, I don't want to imagine what swimming in unfiltered toxins did to the child.
I should ask about that case, but it's been a week and she's likely already dead.
At any rate, I refuse to seriously opine on the best way to commit suicide even here, but there are painless and relatively simple ways. Women just tend to prefer the less effective route of trying to overdose and slitting their wrists, as this girl tried.
self_made_human
Kai su, teknon?
1d ago
To add to the irony, your comment caught a report for lack of effort. This job is going to age me, and I do it for free.
self_made_human
Kai su, teknon?
13hr ago
I'll shill my own hard scifi novel Ex Nihilo, Nihil Supernum
I assure you it has juicy space combat, and is about as hard scifi as I can write without my theoretical degree in physics. Even my lack of interest in calculating orbital transfers is explained by the fact that in this post-abortive singularity setting, we've got some serious torch ships, so brachistochrone orbits it is baby.
self_made_human
Kai su, teknon?
1d ago
Us mods aren't monolithic, though we try to present a unified front. I'm sure there are some out there who would be harsher on OP, or more keen to monitor deeper threads. You can't expect perfect consistency. But I happen to be the one up when the more Westward mods are asleep.
If it had been deeper down, then I would assume that:
A) Far fewer would have their eyeballs contaiminated. I don't recall us mods ever being involved in the most degenerate case, namely DMs, at that point one person or the other should block and move on.
B) It might have been in the context of a heated debate, where being somewhat uncharitable can be occasionally excused, if not indefinitely or infinitely. Someone can be provoked into being exasperated, or less than maximally polite, and I was giving him the benefit of the doubt.
C) His mod record is otherwise clean.
Hence I initially wanted to politely tell him to shy away from that kinda thing without putting a dent in his invisible to you mod record, but when it's a top level post, absolutely not, it's warning worthy. He's got 83 comments, and no warnings till today, so as far as I can tell, he's mostly within acceptable bounds. Unfortunately, B isn't true, though that was an error on my part while trying to clear the mod queue. At any rate, a warning would probably be the default mod action, it's unlikely any of us would want to ban him for a first infraction, even one clearly in violation of norms. Repeated misbehavior and being incorrigible? Or just something awful? Banhammer swings.
This one caught a couple reports for "Boo outgroup", but while I think there's slight consensus building and some of the former, I don't see anything worth warning you for.
I only write this mod hat on to point out that while your comment is hardly ideal, a polite reminder and not a formal warning will hopefully suffice.
Edit: I'm afraid I didn't see that this was a top level post in the main thread. We expect more effort and less heat in that context, so consider this a warning to avoid this in the future.
Please note the edit/update.
In general, the mods take more pains to police top-level comments more, and enforce the standards most strictly there. Something buried a mile deep gets more slack. Not infinitely more so, certainly, but this would have passed under my threshold if buried in a comment chain 5 replies deep.
I was under the impression that this wasn't a top level comment, and in context of wider discussion, and at that point, it would have deserved a tut-tut more than a formal warning.
Sadly, I've been disabused of that notion, and this doesn't fly as a top level comment. He doesn't have any previous mod record, hence a warning to knock it off suffices.
self_made_human
Kai su, teknon?
19hr ago
Never, ever, EVER, sleep with someone you can diagnose with BPD easily. You're welcome. cries
Duly noted, good sir, but in my particular case I didn't have to even sleep with them for one to take a very good shot at ruining my life. That one was the ex of my own best friend at the time (and I ended up catching his schizophrenia in med school myself).
Excuse me what the fuck with that head bleed.
23 yo M med student, final year. No comorbidities is a mild exaggeration, since he had borderline hypertension. His dad was a captain in the Merchant Marine, out at sea when this all went down, but just a week prior, had gotten his son a full checkup, including a then highly unnecessary NCCT brain. All squeaky clean.
Kid was slightly obese, we had some issues getting a line in the EJ.
Anyway, he was in between his written exams and OSCEs, when he was at home with his mom and developed a splitting headache. Got taken to a GP, who told him not to think so much about exams or women, and to sleep it off with a paracetamol.
Face started drooping shortly after, was brought to the ER convulsing, immediately sedated and intubated, rolled into the ICU, then SICU, bleed considered too small for neurosurgery at the time.
I counseled his family, or rather his mom, his friends, most of them from non-medical backgrounds barring the girl, who wouldn't know what a pontine hemorrhage was if it hit her in the head
The senior consultant, the rest of the hangers on, none of them could convince his mom who was having a fully justified meltdown to go home. She wanted to spend the entire night shivering on a bench (no separate accomodations for the family of an ICU patient). I spent about two hours coaxing, cajoling, arguing, bribing and finally convincing the poor lady to go home after everyone else failed.
The dude was actually improving for the first week, with spontaneous eye opening, some degree of following of commands. Then he had said rebleed, shunt placement didn't help, his GCS dropped to 2T, I got chewed out by a neurosurgeon for asking if he was brain dead, and said brain death was informally relayed two days later, and formally declared a week later when his dad was airlifted off Taiwan and brought to say goodbye.
Funnily enough, no AVM found on multiple kinds of imaging, including an MR angiogram. No kidney disease either. As far as anyone could tell, it was just bad luck. And as far as I can tell, the stereotypes about neurosurgeon ego are entirely justified and universal.
Social media autism
Autism really is my best guess. Zero interpersonal skills, extremely blunt, genuinely curious about how men think about women and what they consider as red flags or worthy of avoidance, with absolutely no insight into her own behavior. The last bit isn't genuinely bad, just an example of how she really seemed clueless. Sure, she could definitely have asked someone far worse at answering that question, but if you need to ask. Shame Aspergers has been deprecated, it was a useful one. Plus she had the same, nigh inevitable, descent into undifferentiated insanity I've seen in every gyno resident, barring the men, who seem to be rather sane. Is she actually mentally ill? I have no idea, but she was off.
Tell them Tylenol is the absolutely worst way to die and to use Melatonin instead.
Absolutely genius. She's fucked up her sleep cycle enough as is, I can pass it off as a dangerous, controlled sleeping med.
self_made_human
Kai su, teknon?
15hr ago
I find the accent endearing, and I understand them well enough, though some scotch makes it even better.
You seem to be good at spotting the dysfunctional ones, and they get extremely dysfunctional
I suppose this is a plus, given that I'm working as a psych trainee there for the next 3 years. It would kinda suck for me to end up somewhere where everyone is sane, though I'd be very happy for them lol.
What concerns me is that a lot of these women hide their issues from a shrink, and only open up to a flirtatious yet good at getting people to talk guy like me. For example, the law student, and another lawyer (we were old acquaintances before running into each other on Bumble, and now I'm an unpaid relationship counselor for her too), disclose maybe 5% of what the fuck is going on to their psychiatrists and therapists.
Now, I'd call myself perceptive, but I'm not a mind reader, so I'm groaning at the notion of teasing these things out from actual patients, especially since flirting with them is off the cards.
Also, Highland Scots drive like particularly suicidal third worlders, so you'll be well-prepared for them
Understandable. If you run into someone on a narrow country lane, there can only be one (someone has to drive in reverse).
self_made_human
Kai su, teknon?
1d ago
Eh, while Indians are hardly at the top of the totem pole, I hardly do badly (trivia, the bottom of the pole is allegedly more prestigious).
Sure, the salary sucks, and NHS doctors are henpecked and taken for granted by a populace used to not paying for showing up at the ER with sniffles.
But I do fine. If you think the girls on dating apps are crazy, wait till you see the kind of screenshots I've been sent about the guys. The very existence of Indians as Model Minorities and often the highest earners by ethnicity is proof that group differences can be overcome by an individual. I'm not the average Indian, or even the average British Indian.
On a more serious note, I've noticed that men who are having decent success (in terms of lots of matches) on dating apps seem to run into a lot of crazies, and it's unsurprising that psych med students have the worst ratio of all. Having "doctor/psych trainee" in your dating app bio kind of screams "do therapy for free, but you can tip me with sex". Neurotypical women also don't really want to date, they want to have a stable relationship, so they spend as little time as possible on these apps, so you're already oversampling from a biased sample.
When I made my account, post breakup, I had genuinely lost hope I'd match (into psych) at all. I was looking for something more serious, but at least half the nutters came from that short period. At that point, it was just "doctor at [reputable hospital]". And I expected to be here for significantly longer, losing my mind in other ways from the terror of bullshit exams. I was advertising a stable relationship, for the little good that did.
At any rate, I do do therapy for free, and find it an enjoyable reprieve from my own problems, including on this very board, though sadly nobody has offered to pay me back with sex quite yet. Upvotes and sincere praise are enough really. But yeah, people dating online are being sampled from the kind of people who are less likely to make it offline, even if it's become normalized and the predominant way people date. Even more so in the West, so the odds of running into the utterly deranged should be lower from a more representative sampling.
So far, I remain convinced that the primary reason therapy, in all its myriad forms, beats placebo, even for the most retarded forms, is because it's a decent substitute for having a nonjudgemental and perceptive friend, the kind who'll keep your secrets to themselves. I'm pretty good at that, even for women I sincerely would not approach without a syringe loaded full of haloperidol or lorazepam. Instead, I just vent to online strangers with more identifiable information redacted.
self_made_human
Kai su, teknon?
11hr ago
Huh. Is this one of those? Because it doesn't seem that way to me, except when I'm explicitly looking at filtered ones. Good point, maybe I'll raise it with Zorba. Either way, it's a perfectly inoffensive comment, so I'll take it as a prompt to clear the queue while the others are sleeping.
self_made_human
Kai su, teknon?
1d ago
I tried to come up with a cogent counterargument and find I'm coming up short.
Look, they weren't all that bad. The psychologist will presumably recover, once she stops screwing her ex. The fashion designer, well, she's doing better. There were definitely better dates, plenty, though I can't really commit with the whole leaving the country thing ahead. But I make sure they know that, I would despise myself for leading someone on.
There are certainly several more who I can pass off as sane, but there's not much to say about them, barring some flirting and early morning goodbyes. It's the crazies, the damaged ones I remember the most, mostly because they had me feverishly leafing through my textbooks to figure out if I was the one going insane.
Here's hoping that Scottish girls are notably less psychotic on average, but I'll be honest, it feels nice to help people who desperately need it, though as you can tell, even I have my boundaries and soon enough, a justified fear of losing my license, so said boundaries only get tighter. At the very least I know that I am very good at the whole counseling and talking people into doing what's good for them thing, even if I can't prescribe more than SSRIs and benzos (and wouldn't want to, I send them to more qualified psychiatrists most of the time). At worst, I know my voice can lull them to sleep, which is worth something I guess. I'm not kidding when I said one of them was actively suicidal and about to do something awful, but thankfully it seemed to be more of a single isolated episode on a background of severe depression, so yeah, probably saved her.
Whereas the thought of an arranged marriage just makes me depressed. I can't always fix them, but I'm happy to let them make me worse.
self_made_human
Kai su, teknon?
2d ago
Missives from Indian Streets
I've had two learners licenses expire on me so far. I'd like to argue, if pressed, that I was too busy to give the driving exam at the end, with other, far more important medical exams pressing. The truth is I was simply too lazy.
But now, finding myself in actual need of one, since the NHS accepts "sorry boss, dunno how" as a poor excuse for showing up late to an emergency, I paid a good chunk of my own salary to one of the driving instructors at one of the more reputable companies around (they own a car brand, though they were mildly put out because I made it clear I wasn't a prospective customer).
The last two times, my dad coughed up the change, but this time, both actual enthusiasm and hard cash were transferred from my far more empty wallet. You'd think his modestly justified annoyance at me having wasted the money before would be outweighed by paternal pride and affection at his son adding more alphabet soup behind his name, but alas.
Up till this point, my instructors had been bad, to put it lightly. And the extent of my experience on the road was driving through quiet suburban streets and doing my best to weave through parked cars and avoid the odd cow or pedestrian.
This time, well, I got what I paid for. Far better tutors, 5 whole lessons in a simulator running Windows 10 but using software probably written in the early 2000s. Unfortunately, today I braved the midday sun in an exceedingly long walk to the motor training school (for obvious reasons I can't drive there) , I can't call myself an Englishman quite yet, but mad dog? The heatstroke left me panting.
To my chagrin, it turned out that my last simulator class was supposedly a two-in-one affair, and they expected me to hit the road again, for the first time in several years.
At high noon. On the main road carrying half the city's traffic, a fucking arterial line spewing motor oil and NO2 emissions, a far cry from the sedate streets I feel quarter comfortable in.
I didn't let on that my inner self was kicking and screaming, and followed the instructor to the awaiting training car with barely repressed terror.
It wasn't that bad. The car, that is. No obvious dents, the air conditioning and power steering worked, a far cry from the broken down beater they'd seen fit to hand me at the previous place.
The driving? Talk about being thrown in the deep end. I swear I don't feel that level of hyperfocus even the odd time I'm dragged in for a surgery. Because after all, what's the worst that could happen there? The patient doesn't make it. Whereas I'm too cute to die, and I have a lot to live for.
Miraculously, despite hitting 55 km/h on some of the busiest roads I've had the misfortune of seeing, I made it through mostly unscathed, even if the gearbox didn't.
That's it. I'm buying an automatic. I modestly hoped that self driving cars would be common enough that I could always procrastinate learning to drive to the distant future, or preferably never. Sadly the distant future is today, and the odd car that can plausibly be said to drive itself is far outside my budget.
Instead, I'm buying a Porsche, a Mustang, nah, a plain old horse. Runs off renewable energy. Confuses the meter maids enough that I might get away with it if I can't find free employee parking. Fully self driving, or good enough cruise control and lane keeping to make sure my sorry ass makes it home from the pub.
I saw God, today. He was wearing a seat belt. So should you.
self_made_human
Kai su, teknon?
19hr ago
Don't stick your dick in crazy, especially not when they can stick theirs back in you.
Way ahead of you fam, but I definitely need that luck.
self_made_human
Kai su, teknon?
1d ago
Don't worry, I could tell you were (mostly) joking, heh.
Unfortunately, the fact that the social status and respect for doctors has been grossly devalued in the UK compared to their peers in both India and the US isn't a joke. Let's not even talk about NHS wages.
On online dating in general, the worst at everything are universally men, and more obviously so as well. My point is rather that it seems like "medium-value" guys, while having less matches overall, seem to have a better ratio since mostly serious, normal woman show interest in them. "High-value" guys attract a lot of attention, which will disproportionally be crazy attention. That girls fall in love from like meeting you twice lends credence to this, imo
Possibly, though the only people who really talk the most about online dating are those men for whom it goes very poorly, or very well (I reserve judgement on my situation). I'm certainly not filtering as aggressively for red flags as I could be, given that I sincerely hope my sins and little self_made_humans will be left behind here. That reminds me, I should get my criminal background check at the local police station done with ASAP, before one of the unfixable ones does something in which I could be remotely implicated.
There's likely a large silent majority of decent dudes matching with women who are just their type, after a decent amount of effort.
Sadly it does seem I'm rather lovable, the two steady relationships that ate up the last 7.5 years of my life were rather whirlwind. But I mostly blame the utter lack of common sense and decorum in the Average Indian Male, I've seen even the ones hotter and richer than me get rejected because they almost literally open up with "hey bby wan sum fuk?".
I expect more competition abroad, but I've handled tougher challenges. Hopefully I trick some poor woman I want to fall for me into a long term relationship, my ex was close but no cigar in the end.
I've never used, nor intend to ever use, dating apps myself.
This decision has my full throated approval. Sadly, I'm both very busy right now and will be in the NHS, and so I had little to lose. I'm sure I can meet people in person, through friends of friends and the like, haunt the local pubs and get liver cirrhosis. The good stuff.
On therapies, I've gotten that impression more than once; Though it also seems to be the reason why some people seem to get stuck in therapy perpetually.
Ideally, therapy should be a temporary recourse, with a strict time limit in mind, after which a good therapist will flat out tell you it's not working and that you need to try someone or something else. But my experience so far suggests that some people do need it nigh indefinitely, sadly.
There's no universal consensus on the matter, but like you say, the overwhelming majority of Hindus are overjoyed when someone converts, even to the kooky cults like the HKs.
Half of the BJPs regional shtick is the "Ghar wapasi" (Bring 'em home and back into the fold) movement, where Muslims are 'encouraged' to return to their ancestral Hinduism.
A foreign convert? That's a cherry on top. But I'm not aware of any formal way to assign caste, since well, Hinduism for most of its existence wasn't proselytizing, so there was not much need for it. The funny part is when people convert to Islam or Christianity to escape their lower caste status, only to find that those buggers still stick to it, de facto.
self_made_human
Kai su, teknon?
1d ago
I mean, I don't really blame her, if I lost my watch on her nightstand, it was because I was hungover and leaving at 5 am to catch some sleep before I had a shift that morning. I'm more upset by the multiple massive hickeys she left me, in highly visible places. Had to collar up for a while. Had a lovely old lady and her husband giggling like teenswhen I spent a good while both reviewing her for her diabetes and discussing the career of her son, an Indian doctor who had done his psych degree in the UK and fucked off to Singapore, married a Chinese GP, and is living happily ever after. It turned out that I had unbuttoned my collar late at night in the heat, and forgotten about it. Cue a very good poker face while I took her history and pretended to have no clue what they were chuckling about. Coincidentally, that was the night I found out that I did match into psych, I swung by to say hi in the morning and had to profusely apologize for not bring her sweets as is tradition (not the best idea for an uncontrolled diabetic). A coincidence, but a nice one. The watch and hickeys were a small price to pay.
To be fair to the med student, I might have left it at a hotel after a night out with another doctor, I only wear watches on special occasions. She just happened to have a spare apartment lying around, whereas mine is used as a storehouse for several tons of physical copies of medical records. An abominable place, hers, with three live cockroaches feasting off the corpses of their countless deceased brethren, awaiting Springtime when she comes back from her modestly distant med school on weekends to catch up with friends and fuck the odd dude or two, with the leftover takeout and open alcohol bottles sufficient sustenance to last them till next time. Eh, she was very hot, and my stint in a government hospital has made me rather tolerant of roaches.
self_made_human
Kai su, teknon?
1d ago
Not my circus, and I medically discharged her as unfit for dating after that episode, so not my monkey either. I just happen to keep in touch.
I did feel bad for her, so at least I did the gentlemanly thing of consoling her, getting her something to drink and holding her in a nearby park while she cried her heart out. I did my best not to let the date get too awkward while handing her more tissues as she sniffled away. Even consoled her later, though I think she understood that I wasn't in a position to deal with that, given that I had a painful breakup recently myself (not that I ever let it break me down so utterly, I just drink another shot of whiskey, healthy coping mechanisms you see).
She's seeing a therapist herself, though I imagine that gets a bit awkward. But she'll get over it.
REDACTED: Just no. REDACTED: antagonistic
Whoever reported this, I'm not sure what you want the mods to do about someone's severe depression and self loathing. Like sure, I'm a psych trainee, but in my remit as a moderator, what the hell are we supposed to do? Warn someone for being mad at themselves? Ban them for uncharitable comments and antagonism towards their own person? Bruh. This isn't Reddit, we don't have a bot directing people to a suicide helpline number, for all the dubious good that does.
To you, well, you might be all of the above but you're far from a single issue posting Eeyore-maxxer like Skookum, so I'm just pointing out my exasperation at people who think this is report worthy.
self_made_human
Kai su, teknon?
1d ago
Bangalore traffic is notorious even for Indians. Like, you can't pay me enough to drive there. Even the largest motorways drive at the pace of an arthritic snail (xe/xer only has the one foot anyway).
Even more aggravating is that the auto-rickshaws literally charge more than an Uber for equivalent distances, the public transport is absolutely fucked.
self_made_human
Kai su, teknon?
1d ago
Oh there are laws, this isn't Mombasa, though the primary concern for those keeping them is the stiff bribes the police demand if they catch you.
It's more that things like proper lane keeping, courteous passing, sensible pedestrian traffic and the like are non-existent. So at the very least my reflexes and my resting heart rate will remain honed. I intend to drive here only long enough to get accustomed to the rote actions of driving while following traffic laws as they nominally exist. Not long enough to develop bad habits like fishing for my wallet when the cops pull me over, or joining in the demolition derby.
self_made_human
Kai su, teknon?
2d ago
In India, and I didn't expect the trial by fire would be quite so literal, with how abominably hot it is. It's been consistently in the middle 40s in Celsius, and it's only April.
Trust me, you have no idea the depths of depravity traffic can stoop to, I'm modestly grateful that I'll only be here long enough to become semi-competent at the whole not running people over thing, and thus not have the worst habits ingrained in me. If I can navigate a busy road here and not die on the highways, I'll consider the UK to be a paid vacation.
Whether I'll be a menace to the other people on the streets? Too early to tell, but at least I know they're not that keen on sending me to the ER, my ex works there.
self_made_human
Kai su, teknon?
2d ago
There's addiction and there's addiction. I know plenty of patients who were addicted to drugs and no longer are, in the sense that they have no more physiological and psychological cravings.
There are, of course, many different kinds of drugs. Getting over a hankering for coffee or nicotine is a whole different kettle of fish compared to meth or strong opioids, or benzos.
self_made_human
Kai su, teknon?
2d ago
And here I am, stuck in the middle.
Honestly, it's a miracle more people don't die, but apparently you can get used to anything. Not that I want to get used to this, it seems to give everyone a terminal case of road rage.
self_made_human
Kai su, teknon?
2d ago
My condolences. It sucks to meet someone you really like, and then have circumstances drag you, or them, away.
I find myself in much the same position as she does, in that I'm about to uproot myself from all I've known, loved and hated and fuck moving states, I'm moving States.
That bodes poorly for things with the several really nice women I've encountered while running Bumble and Hinge's unpaid psychiatry services, some of whom I genuinely wouldn't mind getting serious with, were that an option. (The long list of absolute crazies deserve their own post).
But hey, I made it clear I'm here for a good time, not a long one, and make it a point to remind them not to get too close because soon enough I'll be gone; and I doubt that 3 months is nearly enough time for someone else to also decide to drop everything and move for someone they met on a few dates.
But in your cases, all you should feel is mild regret. You didn't do anything wrong, nor did she, and you'll find someone not inclined to wander away sooner or later.
Notes from Hinge and Bumble's Unpaid Psychiatry Services
Right. Putting doctor/psych trainee in my bio may or may not have been a mistake. I wanted to make it clear that I'm not going to be in India for more than like 3 or 4 months, just about long enough to die from heatstroke and land when it's wet and drizzly in Scotland.
The GMC frowns strongly on a violation of a doctor-patient relationship, especially when the doctor is screwing the patient. In India? Who gives a fuck? A friend of mine, a lawyer, reported that she went with her mom to see a shrink for her depression, and the horny bastard said she didn't need treatment, just an ice cream date.
Now I'm certainly not going to date someone under my care, even in India, only 30% because they're usually grannies with terminal cancer. And their cute granddaughters are probably too distraught to appreciate it, not that I'd be so uncouth as to try.
Unfortunately, I've become convinced that either I'm drawn to crazy women, or they're drawn to me. Or at least 80% of the female population on said apps needs a therapist more than a boyfriend.
Sadly, I nurse a weakness for cute girls who desperately need my help, and my dad-energy manifests so strongly that I've matched with med students to yell at them for being on the apps when their finals are ongoing. More than once. Certainly more than twice.
In no particular order:
Med student I yelled at for being on the apps. Turned out to have abruptly discontinued her SSRIs and having a meltdown. She got yelled at more, since I've been on that campus and know there's a pharmacy outside her dorm. Proceeds to inform me she suspects she's autistic. I say, sure, you're a final year med student giving said finals, you can probably tell, not that a diagnosis is going to do you any good. She then goes on to reveal to me that she's been formally diagnosed with BPD. I'm screaming and reacting with a 💀 emoji. Proceeds to tell me it's not that bad, to which I earnestly disagree. Then reveals that she harbors thoughts of stabbing her classmates with HIV contaminated needles. If it wasn't obvious to you, the deal was off the moment I heard BPD. There are many kinds of crazy, but that is what I'm not going to fuck with. Then "she" proceeds to tell me she's trans, which I genuinely couldn't tell at first on a quick skim (it was obvious later, presuming you knew what to look for, but I mostly matched to yell at her). Shoulda guessed from her being 5'10 in the bio, but at any rate, time to dip. Don't stick your dick in crazy, especially not when they can stick theirs back in you.
Another med student. Clearly in need of therapy, my attempt at psychoanalyzing her after a brief conversation was hilariously accurate in retrospect. Sadly, in the end, all I could provide was a good time. I was kinda serious with her (before I found out that against all odds, I did match into psych), even saw a buddy of hers, yet another med student, admitted to the ICU. Cue her falling for me after seeing my counseling skills with the distraught family and friends (it's a good way to dodge the malpractice suits). Sadly the buddy died, pontine hemorrhage and rebleed, no comorbidities or predisposing factors. Barring a love of biryani, and if that alone was lethal, I'd have passed away a decade back. Anyway, the girl had failed an exam from a prior year, and I was losing sleep trying to convince her to study for her next attempt. She told me not to worry about it, though my genuine concern meant I still did. Lo and behold, a 55 yo married professor with a daughter her age wrote her paper, in front of the entire exam hall, and submitted it in her name, this, in combination with her family being filthy rich and politically connected, meant that I left my concerns about her academics at the door. Then it turned out that she was the kind of party girl who had both a low tolerance for liquor, and a tendency to get frisky with anyone in sight. And said person wasn't necessarily always me. Some drama later, we weren't a thing, both because I simply couldn't trust her, and because she was growing crazy over the fact I was inevitably leaving. Long story, cut very short. I think I lost my most expensive watch, and she hasn't been so kind as to check.
Gyno final year trainee. I hit her up primarily because I was bored, and wanted to see if the uptick in market value from me being a post grad trainee extended that far. Older than me. I was justifiably incensed on her behalf and talking to her when she told me the orthopod she was seeing had dumped her over a text after seeing her for 6 months. Further conversation revealed that she's probably autistic, or just plain weird, being infatuated with me two phone calls in. Still dodging her calls with excuses of being too busy doing unpaid surgery with my dad (he's a Gyno surgeon who also happens to teach laparoscopic surgery to gyne trainees and even other consultants, I wanted to get him a new student if nothing else). But I understood why the previous poor bastard ran for the hills and didn't leave an address.
Fashion designer. Very cute, very sweet, very depressed. I had to talk her out of committing suicide, over the phone at 2 am after counseling another, actual suicide survivor, who wasn't my patient either. But working productively with her issues, seeing a therapist, actually listening to my concerns. Nice girl, I'm kinda sad she has to see me go, especially when she said I actually look good in Hawaiian shirts. I always suspected, but it's good to have a second opinion from an authoritative source.
Law student. Cute. Top of her class. Survivor of multiple suicide attempts, because she didn't take biology lessons past tenth grade, and Google wisely doesn't return results for "painless ways to commit suicide". Asked me on the first date how much paracetamol it takes to off oneself, for purely academic reasons. I had the sense to tell her I categorically refuse to answer that question. Has multiple psychiatrists and therapists. Refuses to see them, or follow their advice. When they do see her, they get depression, mine only gets exacerbated. Also, I suspect they're incompetent, or consider international consensus more of a suggestion. I've seen some absurd prescriptions, including longterm use of a combination of an SSRI and a benzo. Her anxiety is bad, but only in episodes, whereas I think she'd be way better served with a normal SSRI and benzos rarely on a PRN basis. Bunch of other medical comorbidities, but thankfully dodged the genetic mutation causing ADPKD that killed her father early and will probably get her siblings. She's pulled my hair and slapped me on a first date, the only saving grace being she's so weak only the former kinda hurt (and I need to keep my hair). As allergic to medical care as I am to textbooks, and prone to turn violent and call me old should I express any concern for her lack of care for her health.
A rather sweet psychologist doing a fellowship in Psycho-Oncology at another hospital. Met up after work for a date and to talk shop. Then she sees a text from her ex, and proceeds to have a full blown panic attack.. Slept with said ex recently, in the on call doctor's room at their hospital. I could tell she wasn't in any position to date from the moment we met, so I wish her well in figuring her shit out.
And so many more. And some of them, I assume, are good people, who do need a date more than counseling.
Yeah, I'm going to administer all my future dates a mental health questionnaire in the future, I pray that doesn't constitute a therapeutic relationship in the UK, especially when I get up mid date and run myself.
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