CSpitz
8mo ago
This idea has me curious now. I’m going to roll this around in my head a bit and see what comes out. It feels like there might be something there, but I’ll have to put some thought into what the coherent starting elements might be…
Where does this nebula of largely disconnected ideas come together? Is it community building? Homesteading would seem to fly against that at face value (though I think there are good arguements to be made for its being very much in the spirit of community building). I feel like network states have a place in this umbrella too. And the “back to basics” elements are interesting, but might be down more to personal preference and interest than inherent features of this larger theme. That feels like an important aspect, but a messy place to not get bogged down in unnecessarily.
Now I feel like I’m talking out of my butt. Does anyone else have any insights to share?
CSpitz
8mo ago
Oh wow, that does sound like a really cool convergence of traits. Not being anonymous never even occurred to me, but that must make a huge difference to the vibe! I’ll definitely have to check this place out. Thank you!
CSpitz
8mo ago
Lol. “High-IQ and contrarian mothers” might be the best description to-date of my ideal friend parameters.
CSpitz
8mo ago
I only met my husband because we both liked HPMOR. The rationalist vibes run deep in our house. I think we’re here for the style of discourse as much as the content. It feels like poetry sometimes, watching people formulate their thoughts and ideas, confining their expression to a conscientious, rationalist style. I find it beautiful and deeply refreshing.
CSpitz
8mo ago
I don’t know how much I can help with that. I feel like I’m trying to capitalize on the differences between genders to make a more satisfying social group for myself. :p
CSpitz
8mo ago
Ooh, now that sounds like an appealing niche. I’d be very curious to see how much crossover there is within the community, vs how many people would ask, “wtf, why?” (I’d also love to see the motte’s uber-nerds discuss homesteading. That sounds hilarious but ultimately very wholesome.)
I’d worry about this being an out-of-left-field imposition on the space. Is there any precedent for that kind of thing here, or would it need its own space?
I wish I knew a good word for this idea… It feels like there’s something many of us feel is missing. It has something to do with tighter-knit in-person communities, nature, working with our hands, etc… but forming communes feels like a weird, risky thing to do, and we don’t want to actually leave the miracles of the modern era. (I loved the essay, “Why Tradwives aren’t Trad Enough, by Mary Harrington”. She had some very neat thoughts on this topic.)
CSpitz
8mo ago
Neat, thanks for the tip! Less lengthy posts sounds more my speed. :p What in particular do you think you like about it?
CSpitz
8mo ago
That sounds like an excellent idea! I’m very much in the mood to start something. I also don’t have the time (or inclination to make time) for much essay-reading these days. I’m thinking I try starting a small Discord chat and see what that turns into. That sounds much more my speed. I’ll pm you when I’ve figured out how to actually do that…
Best of luck starting your family!!
CSpitz
8mo ago
It's a neat idea, but my gut reaction is that that would invite drama, and in attempting to fracture an existing good thing it would probably either devolve or fizzle out.
I'm going to try making a small discord chat and inviting some of the people who've replied here. That's probably more my speed. Personally, I just don't have time to keep up with the Motte right now, as much as I'd love to be more engaged.
CSpitz
8mo ago
Wow, I love this comment!
I totally agree, I would rather preserve fruit with friends/community than talk about preserving fruit. Generally it feels like what’s missing isn’t talking, it’s doing (with friends/community).
I feel like one great takeaway we got from Covid was that socializing online is a vastly insufficient substitute to in-person. Still, I feel like having some kind of online MotteMoms group would be better than nothing. Plus, I’m hoping that if anyone does have reasonably good in-person community, they might be able to tell me how it’s done. Maybe we’re similar enough that your solutions might work for me too. (Also, I’m secretly hoping that if I make good enough online friends, they’ll come and visit!)
I’m impressed with the feedback from this post and thinking I’ll set up a small Discord channel when I have a minute to figure out how those work.
That’s a fantastic point about norms around not dropping casually by people’s houses. I’ve spent a ton of energy trying to encourage my local friends to do exactly that, but the norms of not imposing seem very deeply engrained.
I love the idea of women doing “handwork” and socializing. I’ve attended and organized a bunch of “knit night” groups over the years, and while I always feel like they should be incredible and soul-nourishing (and judging by the fact that many women seem to attend the same group every week for years, it must be particularly rewarding for some of them), for me they always seem to fall flat.
I feel like conversations at the knitting groups I’ve been in always seem to devolve into something flat and shallow. Maybe that’s a reflection on my ability to promote stimulating conversations, but I think it might also be something like: women in the ancestral environment had more in common and more actually productive things to talk about. (Even gossiping about who likes who, or about whatever social scandal of the day could have been really useful.) At my knit nights I felt like there was a huge potential for great wisdom to be shared, but not enough group cohesion for anything useful or insightful to come of it. Maybe just “liking knitting” isn’t enough to form a meaningful social group on.
Listening to podcasts/Jordan Peterson while handcrafting/knitting is a very relatable pastime. It had never occurred to me to compare that with the ancestral equivalent; that’s a very fun picture.
“[T]he children confused, frustrated, and bored.” That’s brutal. I so feel for you guys. I know I would find this very intimidating, but I wonder if there’s anyone you can talk to at your church about setting up some kinds of a family-oriented service or other considerations. I’d be shocked if you were the only one whose life would be made better by this.
My husband and I are toying with the idea of joining a synagogue in our area that has a “regular service”, and then a “family service”, back to back, deliberately catering to the different demographics (and noise levels).
I am now following The Cottage Fairy; thank you! I’m not sure if this is quite your thing, but you might find a similar joyful aesthetic here: https://youtube.com/watch?v=Z0cdVEGDuDg&ab_channel=%E6%9D%8E%E5%AD%90%E6%9F%92Liziqi There’s less explicit wisdom, but similar wholesome vibes.
Ooh, a sign is a neat idea. I might have to play with that. I’ll just have to remember to take it down when it’s not relevant.
Dorms are definitely conducive to that kind of drop-in culture. Major perk.
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