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Wellness Wednesday for October 19, 2022

The Wednesday Wellness threads are meant to encourage users to ask for and provide advice and motivation to improve their lives. It isn't intended as a 'containment thread' and any content which could go here could instead be posted in its own thread. You could post:

  • Requests for advice and / or encouragement. On basically any topic and for any scale of problem.

  • Updates to let us know how you are doing. This provides valuable feedback on past advice / encouragement and will hopefully make people feel a little more motivated to follow through. If you want to be reminded to post your update, see the post titled 'update reminders', below.

  • Advice. This can be in response to a request for advice or just something that you think could be generally useful for many people here.

  • Encouragement. Probably best directed at specific users, but if you feel like just encouraging people in general I don't think anyone is going to object. I don't think I really need to say this, but just to be clear; encouragement should have a generally positive tone and not shame people (if people feel that shame might be an effective tool for motivating people, please discuss this so we can form a group consensus on how to use it rather than just trying it).

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Did you read my post? I have been out of the US for the better part of the year now, I am having a great time not being near any Americans, but I don't want to live outside of the US long term. I essentially see everyone in the US as someone I can't stand or as an ideological enemy to some degree, but find the infrastructure of the US as the most hospitable place for me to live, long term, for practical reasons. Your reply isn't particularly helpful since I'm inclined to make peace with my neighbors at some point rather than run away from them like I have for most of my life.

If it makes you feel any better, both major parties are pretty hard at work on ruining the US, so it may not be the best place to live for much longer.

We're on the same page, but where do you realistically think is a better place to live?

I don't know. Switzerland, maybe? Low taxes, high wages, smart people, and excellent graphics. Singapore seems cool, too. Taiwan has low wages, but would otherwise be a pretty swell place if not for the threat from China.

Sounds like you already have a plan in mind and don't need advice.

My plan is to make peace with my neighbors, but I want advice for how to do so. I don't know where to begin. If I didn't need advice I wouldn't be here asking for it.

There's no magic trick to having positive human relationships, dude. Have you never small talked before? Asked someone about their day? It's not hard to have a casually positive relationship with your neighbors -- just be friendly when you talk to them.

I essentially see everyone in the US as someone I can't stand or as an ideological enemy to some degree

If you feel that America is hopelessly polarized, if you feel that all Americans are living and breathing only politics, it might be only your "bubble" you are living in.

Remember, 40-50% of eligible American voters steadily do not even bother to register and vote. Do you hate them too? Are they also your enemies?

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Voter_turnout_in_United_States_presidential_elections#Turnout_statistics

but find the infrastructure of the US as the most hospitable place for me to live, long term, for practical reasons.

Can you be more concrete what "infrastructure" you mean? The world is big place, bigger than you imagine, what specific American thing is there you cannot find anywhere else?

Remember, 40-50% of eligible American voters steadily do not even bother to register and vote. Do you hate them too? Are they also your enemies?

No, I am not registered to vote either. Like I said in my first post, I would prefer to return to the way I lived before 2016 when I happily ignored politics and didn't have strong opinions about political issues. But now I feel I've read so much about politics that I can no longer see people as having an opinion that they've come to on their own, but rather that every opinion I encounter is downstream of broader political culture war issues. It makes me feel so cynical and hopeless.

Can you be more concrete what "infrastructure" you mean?

Yes. I like the visuals of America between the coasts. I like the huge roads, big vehicles, straight highways that go on for miles and miles, the anonymity, the lack of a cloying, overinterested community that defines the rest of the world. 24 hour grocery stores and gas stations all across the country. I have been to about 20 different countries, and while traveling abroad is my favorite activity, at the end of the day every country makes me feel claustrophobic compared to the US. There is no where in the world with the same degree of freedom of open spaces, space between you and others, space for ideological freedom and freedom to live your life the way you want. France has beautiful food and incredible architecture but you can't eat dinner at any time but between 7pm and 9pm and I was chided for having my car face the wrong direction while pumping gas a few months ago. Why I have to have my license plate visible to a camera while getting gas, I don't know, but that's just the one millionth difference between the US and most countries that irritate me. I could come up with a handful of other specific American things I couldn't find anywhere else, but those are the biggest irritations to me off the top of my head.

I like the huge roads, big vehicles, straight highways that go on for miles and miles, the anonymity, the lack of a cloying, overinterested community that defines the rest of the world. 24 hour grocery stores and gas stations all across the country.

I would tell you to try Ukraine, but it's not the best place to live in rn.

Half of the country might have too high landmine content right now, but the other half should be a solid investment opportunity.

Yes. I like the visuals of America between the coasts.

24 hour grocery stores and gas stations all across the country.

This is true. Wide open empty spaces are found all over the world, but wide open empty spaces you can cross safely and comfortably are indeed only in America. In Sahara or Gobi desert, in Argentinian pampa or Brazilian cerrado you are on your own.

Even big trip across/around Australia is something not comparable to coast to coast ride.

https://www.jorishermans.com/blog/road-trip-battle-east-coast-australia-vs-west-coast-usa

Fortunately, when you are alone in your big car on the big road, you do not have to care about your obnoxious compatriots.

edit: link fixed

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