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Wierd question, but how do you fully move on from a breakup ?
It's been 5 months since i broke up with my gf of 2 years and i still find myself agonizing about it every once in a while.
We broke up on good terms, it was an amazing relationship and honestly we were just not in the same place in life. (Figuratively and geographically). I want to be able to look back at that time in my life fondly, but also move onto something new without feeling much baggage. Time has healed a bit and i have generally been looking forward, but it feels all too slow.
More experienced people int he sub, how have you dealt with this before ?
If you're not texting her or stalking her social media you're far ahead of the game. (If you are doing those things, time to stop.)
The only real answer here is twofold： Time. Or, if you want to drastically shorten the time period required for the numbness or apathy to kick in： Meeting another woman/girl.
This is the intuitive, frustrating, simple, and complete answer.
How much time depends on your own disposition, and it could be a considerable amount. Alternately, if said former flame does/says something that pulls back the veil, as it were, and reveals to you (via somehow) some unsavory reality you may have been previously blind to, this can douse the embers pretty thoroughly.
Yeah, the hard part is that it was an amiable breakup. Over our entire 2 years relationship, we never fought once, so it hard for me to go full cold turkey.
We have avoided chatting to help both of us move on. But, we have exchanged chats once or twice in the last 6 months, one of which was a rather embarrassing rant on my part. (Nothing I'd regretful or hateful though)
We decided not to block each other on social media, but I also don't obsess over it or interact with her through social media and vice versa.
Ah man, I'd hope not. The entire relationship was built on us being 2 people without a poker face. We've broken up, but I'd suck to have 2 happy years of my life yanked away by something truly evil. I mean, a big part of why I even fell for her was because she'd win a 'nicest person on planet earth' award if there was one, and I was the cynical devil's advocate to keep her collateral guilt in check,
Yeah, that's what I'm tending towards. I've met a few people, but it lacks the same enthusiasm as the last time.
There is a 'me' problem at the bottom of it all. I was the one who initiated the breakup, in part due to commitment issues, unwillingness to do long-distance and a mid-life crisis.
So I am in this conundrum where casual intimacy just never feels as rewarding as a real relationship, but my life circumstances keep me from being able to reciprocate the expectations that come with a real relationship.
Yep yep yep yep. It's never easy huh.
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