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naraburns  nihil supernum  1yr ago (text post)   3872 thread views

Small-Scale Question Sunday for November 20, 2022

Do you have a dumb question that you're kind of embarrassed to ask in the main thread? Is there something you're just not sure about?

This is your opportunity to ask questions. No question too simple or too silly.

Culture war topics are accepted, and proposals for a better intro post are appreciated.

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I don't know how to ask it in a fanciful way, so: How can I be more evil and self-centered? I've basically sacrificed myself multiple times, halting my own life to help others (7 years to finish a BSc for being an active participant in a family problem) and I've received... Nothing. I've even had people refuse invitations for dinner, at my expense, because they're "soooooooooo busy" even though their social media reveal a very different schedule, one where I am not present.

Then I remembered during college we had a Physics Lab and decided to be a total dick as an experiment: disrespecting other, uneven workload, stumping my feet when others didn't do things my way, I was really disgusted at myself and thought other saw me as an asshole... and then I received lots of compliment for "my leadership", for having "a tough attitude but worthwhile the pain" (I'm copy-pasting literal text here). Are people retarded? Am I? Are they masochists? Was I taught wrongly and this is actually a positive role model? I don't really understand this social dynamics.

All advice is autobiographical. Which is the most obvious statement ever but that didn't stop Scott from having rediscovered it from first principles.

Your natural temperament might be far too agreeable and advice of "be more disagreeable" is made for you.

Social dynamics is very multi-factorial. Being an "asshole" worked in that context, with you, with those people, in that time, for that task with that exact position of the moons and the stars. Be wary about extrapolating too much insight from it.

I don't know if this qualifies as a "dark art" but as for being a "leader" there is something that will actually guarantee you get away with that every single time. Just be better at the shared task than everyone else. And be made sure to be seen working more than them.

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