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This is the final boss of gender relations. Somehow breaking women's cartel like behavior where they race to the bottom, crab buckets anyone who tries to better themselves, and acts like anything a woman does is justified because patriarchy. I have no idea how you change the conversation to get women to introspect, consider how they treat men/what they bring to the table, and be better. Our culture is dominated by a zeitgeist where men who have frankly any standards or boundaries what so ever are demonized, and somehow the most reprehensible acts of faithlessness, betrayal and even violence by women are met with sympathy as a floor, and frequently cheers of empowerment.
You know what's been great for my marriage? Turning off the TV, and going to church. There are a pair of Bill Burr bits I remembered as we made the decisions as a family to start going. One where he's talking about how he really doesn't believe any of that shit anymore, and he just quietly stopped going. And then a later interview where he talks about going to church again, because it's just good to be reminded what a piece of shit you are. And that definitely comes across when I started going. The insipid narcissism that infects the core of your being through virtually all of pop culture is insidious. I remember reading The Narcissism Epidemic almost 20 years ago now, and it's impossible to deny that it's kicked into overdrive since then. Trying to repeat the Penitential Act which I don't have memorized doesn't exactly purge the ambient narcissism our culture imposes on us. But speaking personally there has been a lot less ego driven conflict in my household.
If I had to do it all over again, and I hope I never have to since I love my wife and we've built a great life together and truly grown to complement and support one another, I'd consider trying to find a right minded woman at church. If this proved impractical for whatever reasons, I'd see how open they were to going with me. I have no idea how practical this advice is to a younger generation even further up shits creek than I was trying to navigate what I thought was terminal toxicity in gender relations in the 00's. But where ever you look, it's going to have to be in a subculture that has rejected mainstream American culture at least in part. I don't know, I guess I see a lot of tech bros marrying (I assume) high caste Indian women too.
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