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I found a rationalist group in my area and they're fun to talk to. People are all over the political spectrum so people rarely strongly signal their controversial opinions, discussions are usually around less inflammatory topics like economics and philosophy. You can crawl old meetup posts on ACX and look for something local, or find communities on social media.
More generally, you can meet people organically in hobby space. If the hobby leans young or female, expect it to lean left. If it's more blue-collar and male, expect it to lean right. In both cases, people should generally be less extreme and more centrist than groups who met through explicit tribal filters.
That's a good point, and totally true. I have found rationalist groups to be much better at dealing with culture war related issues. Though in my area (northeast US), it's still slightly more left facing than I'd prefer, I've been at rationalist meetups where some (but only a few) people are totally sneer-clubbing anti-vaxers and stuff.
My other issue with rationalist spaces is that in some way, it seems like a different culture than mine. For the Less Wrong in my area they have celebrations regarding the solstice, they have a strong focus on nootropics and biohacking, the people are a bit more nerdy than I am, and also practically everyone there is polyamorous (seriously, it almost feels like a dating club). They feel more like people who I really like that I could be friends with, but that I could never quite be a part of their culture, it just feels a little alien. But maybe I should give it another try.
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