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This isn't exactly related to your OP, but what is this dynamic? I haven't ever had a woman I would consider a "friend" i.e. that I would hang out with alone and/or text/call in a totally platonic way. Does your wife/gf not have an issue with you spending time with these other girls? Is there actually no romantic interest on your part, as in you would say no and be surprised if one of them made a move or indicated they wanted you to?
Well, usually I hang out with people in groups, usually with my wife and these women's husbands/boyfriends all together. I don't usually see anyone one-on-one at all. Though in theory I could easily go hang out with one of these women and my wife would trust me, no questions asked. I guess I've done things like this before, though it was a while ago.
I find these women attractive, and if I were single, I'd try to date them. But as things stand I really would say no if one of them made a move, because I value my marriage far more than having a relationship with one of them. My wife knows this, and she trusts me.
Do you text with these women, mostly their husbands, or both? Who did you typically know first, husband or wife? Any tension with the husbands?
I text them, but I'm not the sort of person who texts "hey, what's up" and just chats with people all day long, whether they're male or female. When I text them, I usually am trying to make plans with them, or at least showing them some interesting piece of content I found on Youtube or whatever that I think they'd like, or getting their opinion on something.
In these cases of my female friends, I usually know the wife first, which is why I'm usually better friends with them. There's no tension with the husbands as far as I know, though.
Maybe it helps that my wife and I lived in a big fairly tight-knit coed community in undergrad while we were dating. Some of these women come directly out of that community. But since my wife and I were living directly with both men and women while dating, she couldn't follow me around everywhere, she just had to trust me, and I had to trust her. We'd often be doing things with other people in the community, and as such, the suspicion never really arose.
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