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That's a really nice thing to hear, even if you don't mean it in a complimentary way. Nobody has asked me that before, once they know it's hereditary they accept it. Not that I think poorly of them, it's just nice to hear. But no, the worst is much worse than me. Any son or daughter of mine would likely be smarter than me and therefore even better at hiding their craziness from others, and I went 5 years before anyone realised how crazy I was. And it's not that people weren't looking, they were and some even suspected. I just knew how to brush them off. But the other component is my craziness was almost entirely benign. When it connected with the real world it mostly led to me making confusing purchases or instantly writing off strangers for no apparent reason. There's no way to know what shape the illness would take in my child.
I do think about it sometimes though, lord knows I want to roll those dice. One in seven is either the best or the worst odds depending on how optimistic a gambler you are, I'm told. But then I remember my time in hospital - not how I was, but my fellow sufferers, sitting in the common room at visiting time staring blankly past their loved ones, in an entirely different world - their loved ones just hoping for one fleeting glimpse of the person they know and love. Not a conversation, not even a word said, just recognition. And so few of them got it. I could handle that, because I've been there, but there aren't many who'd sign up for it willingly. Then the years on medication, zonked out of my mind, changing my diet to accommodate the constipation and absence of energy, being tethered to my home because if I miss a day I'm a vomiting, shaking wreck. Oh and then the new medication, with no withdrawals, yay, oh wait now I just throw up every day full stop. No it is healthier for me to consider myself a genetic dead end I think.
It's difficult to judge from this distance. You certainly appear to be verbally very sharp, articulate, together, and self-aware. But of course you have a far better grasp of what's what here.
Thanks dude, that means a lot coming from you. But yeah, I don't visit the motte when I'm sick, so you're only getting part of the picture. I can't go into it further without revealing more of my identity than I am comfortable with unfortunately.
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