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PaperclipPerfector  1d ago (text post)   1273 thread views

Friday Fun Thread for June 20, 2025

Be advised: this thread is not for serious in-depth discussion of weighty topics (we have a link for that), this thread is not for anything Culture War related. This thread is for Fun. You got jokes? Share 'em. You got silly questions? Ask 'em.

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So did anyone else watch the Stanley Cup?

I'm not sure how the motte skews in terms of sports watchers, but I for one was rooting for the Panthers. For those who don't pay attention to sports, the Stanley Cup is the annual championship for hockey. No I don't mean "US Hockey" or "North American Hockey" I mean hockey. The best players of hockey from around the world come to compete in the National Hockey League (NHL). Americans aren't even a simple majority of hockey players in the NHL, heck we're not even the largest population in the league! That trophy goes to the Canadians, who make up some 40% of the league and have seven teams representing the frozen north in the league. I would have said "leafs" or "canucks" but both of those are actual NHL teams (Toronto Maple Leafs and Montreal Canadians Vancouver Canucks respectively). There are also Swedes, Russians, Finns, Czechs, Swiss, Slovaks, Germans, Latvians, Danes, Austrians, Belarussians, Norwegians, and one each from France, the UK, Australia, Bulgaria, the Netherlands, and Slovenia.

Anyway, the Panthers were playing the Edmonton Oilers. I was, as I said, rooting for the Panthers because the Canadians won the Four Nations Face-Off, an NHL-affiliated/sponsored event where four of the most represented nations in the NHL (Canada, Finland, the US, and Sweden) competed against each other. It was an absolute riot. Some of the best hockey I've ever watched, hands down. But the Canadians won in the end (honestly Finland and Sweden never really had a chance, it was always going to be the US v. Canada in the finals). So I wanted the American team (somewhat, as I said it's an international sport) to bring home the cup.

I got my wish. For the second year in a row the Oilers and Panthers faced each other in the finals, and for the second year in a row the Panthers won it all. Many of the Panthers players are... somewhat controversial. Matthew Tkachuk (and to some extent his brother Brady Tkachuk) is considered a dirty player, to the point where he has been termed the "Rat King"--meaning he's a very good, very dirty player. Another player to hold the title Rat King is Tkachuk's teammate, Brad Marchand who has previously licked an opposing player's face just to fuck with his head. Seth Jones transferred from the Blackhawks to the Panthers three months ago, saying it was the "#1 destination to [play playoff hockey]" which was received poorly by fans as it looked like he was just chasing a payday. The controversy extends to the "chirps" or trash-talking on-ice, with this being called the nastiest Stanley Cup final anyone has ever seen. I could go on, but you know what's boring? Listing hockey players being hockey players. You know what's fun?

Watching the Panthers celebrate. Holy shit it is so much fun to watch these guys just goof off. For those not in the know, it is long-established hockey tradition for the winners of the Stanley cup to go on a week-long rager after winning, and the Panthers are doing it in style. With the cup. That's important. The rager occurs with the Stanley Cup for a full 24-hours. This is officially known as the "Players' day with the Cup" and it always, always gets damaged or abused in some way. Which has of course already occurred. In fact it kinda looks like it got shot but oh well. Damaging the cup during the celebration is a tradition as old as the celebration is. The Cup has had several children baptized in it, been shat in (by a baby, allegedly), thrown from a second-story window into a pool, dropped at least once every time it's been awarded, thrown in the ocean, drunk out of (a very serious tradition, the winning team is supposed to drink champagne from it), had cereal eaten out of it, had dogs eat out of it, been thrown in the dishwasher, and has traveled as far afield as an Igloo in the very north of Canada, to Los Angeles, to the White House, to Stockholm, to Red Square, and it even visited Kandahar Afghanistan where it watched over a ball hockey game on concrete in the Afghan desert. It has been drop kicked, dropped into the middle of a frozen canal (because the drop kick didn't clear the other side), left at a photo studio, lost on the side of the road, had the mortgage papers for Madison Square Garden burned in it (which of course led to the Curse of 1940, causing a 54 year win drought for the New York Rangers), had teeth chipped on it, been stolen by angry fans, been dropped in a bonfire, had a Kentucky Derby winning horse eat out of it, been locked in a bar and had every patron drink from it, etc. etc.

Anyway, how are the Panthers celebrating? By drinking themselves silly for a week straight. Here's team captain Barkov dragging Marchand out of a club. Marchand borrowed a fan's jersey, and then paid $200 cash to keep it (technically less than the value of the jersey but the fan certainly didn't mind). Here's Barkov almost catching a face-full from a smoke machine. Barkov and several team members visited a neighbor by prior arrangement at 5am to show him the Stanley Cup, Marchand has been thanking every team that traded or cut a player that ended up on the Panthers, and here's him giving an incredibly touching (no really) rationale for his instagram stories. Marchand has an odd fixation with Dairy Queen (well not so odd) and so served a bunch of blizzards to fans. No seriously, he really likes DQ. No, he really likes DQ, to the tune of $38000. The team (with cup in tow) visited a strip club, and presumably ran up a huge bill. I know a lot of this is Brad Marchand but he's the Rat King, and he is as hated on the ice as he is beloved off it. Here's Marchand biting teammate Uvis Balinskis' nipple. Here's the team riding down the street in a golf cart with the Stanley. Barkov celebrating with arena employees. Panthers and the Cup celebrating to the Pink Pony Club remix.

I could keep spamming reddit links but I think I've gotten my point across. It's just an absolute joy to watch these guys celebrate getting what they battled for, and I really do mean battled. Matthew Tkachuk had a sports hernia and torn adductor on the same side, Barkov had a gash in his hand that needed sutures, which tore out twice, and Reinhart (who scored 4 of the 5 goals in the cinching Game 6) was coming off a Grade 2 MCL sprain.

This got a lot longer than I intended, so I'll end it here with a simple note. I can't wait for next season.

I would have said "leafs" or "canucks" but both of those are actual NHL teams (Toronto Maple Leafs and Montreal Canadians respectively).

Canucks are Vancouver, Montreal are the CanadiEns

Whoops, that's what I get for writing when I'm tired.

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