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PaperclipPerfector  10d ago (text post)   2817 thread views

Small-Scale Question Sunday for July 6, 2025

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Does anyone have any good links to blogs or posts about how to use dating apps optimally? I figure someone has this stuff figured out

Cred

Back when I was on the dating app roulette, I was told by female friends that I had a great profile. Other women have asked me 'how to find men like me' and I have been called a 'what a shame he's straight' by a gay man. I haven't been on the market for a couple of years, but the advice should still be valid.

Most important - Be recognizable

Women go through a million same looking profiles. The worst thing to be is unrecognizable and vanilla. Have at least 1 thing about you that stands out. Discussing dating profiles is a favorite past time for women. It is good be a certain type of guy. 'The chef', 'the fashionista', 'the salsa dancer'. If you're just 'a guy', you will fall through the cracks.

My dating profile photo checklist:

  • I have friends -> group photo (Ideally mixed gender)
  • I am in shape -> full body shot (clothed)
  • I am not ugly -> face closeup front
  • I can look like a fuck-boy like if you need me to
  • I have a good heart. (opposite of fuck boy - pet photos, fun uncle, belly laughs, family photos)
  • I do fitness stuff
  • I do fun stuff & have hobbies
  • I actually am 6 feet tall (I am 1 cm off but eh, close enough)

Cheat codes: Wield them as you see fit.

  • Women love pets
  • Women love men who cook
  • Women love men who love therapy
  • Women love men who are loved by women (sisters are okay)

Prompts:

  • People aren't creative. All your photo captions and prompt answers should reveal something about you that leads to an obvious comment from the woman. For me it was my cooking and hiking photos.
  • Have high coverage. Be concise, but signal different information each prompt.
  • Don't be too humble. You can be self-deprecating to counter-signal if your photos already position you as high-status. Otherwise, be earnest about your achievements.

Dos and Donts:

  • Avoid fishing photos. Just post a photo of you on a boat with friends instead. Same idea, different messaging.
  • If you are posting sports photos make them active & outdoors. Cheering for your favorite team in a crowd or playing the game with a jersey. Don't post photos in full-kit from the sofa.
  • Have a social presence. Instagram is ideal. Makes you look sociable. Be google searchable.
  • Be strategic about having weird hobbies on your profile. I like anime, but wouldn't dare put that on my profile. I am transparent about liking it when asked, but don't advertise for the first 2-ish dates.
  • I have been told that doing standup and having a podcast are the 2 biggest icks for women. (I have been seeding the possibility in my girlfriend for 2 years now, and she fake? threatens breakup every time. We'll get there)
  • If you are on the heavier side, then wear layers. Don't fake edit your photos. There are ways to look good even if you're heavy. I'd prefer those.
  • If you don't have good photos. Then pay to get good photos taken. THIS IS NOT OPTIONAL. YOU MUST HAVE GOOD PHOTOS.
  • Hair - be bald or make your hair look good. Don't go around trying to embarrassingly rescue your impending baldness. Get a good haircut. Pay up 50-70$ for a good barber once.
  • Facial hair - Be well groomed. I have the world's worst beard genes. I still managed to persevere through months of growing some density to maintain a #3 on my trimmer. Be clean shaven or grow a half-decent beard/stache. Do not post pubes on your face. Please.
  • Have 1 suit photo - Suits are a man's bikini. Insanely flattering for all body types. Full suit please.
  • Limit sunglasses and caps in your photos. Immediately raises flags for ugliness / baldness.

Useful reddit links:

Question:

How do you have so many photos of yourself? I have three photos a year taken of me. Are you taking loads of photos? Did you take a weekend photo shoot?

I love hosting events. I usually have candid photos from there. Hiking is my other main source. Gotta take a photo at the summit. Anything from the last 3 years is game. I was obnoxious about asking to be filmed when climbing just so I could get a cool jumping-photo. Was also obnoxious about asking to be filmed when playing music at a community event. Needed a playing-music photo.

In dating you have to be forward. Similarly, be forward about asking to have your photo taken at every social event. You only need 1-2 trust worthy friends who'd wingman for you. Trust me, they understand. We've all been there. In my experience, every friends group has a photography hobbyist. They will take your photo, develop it for you and send a perfectly edited photo for free. Find this person. You will never run out of photos.

If nothing else works, yes, I recommend a photo shoot.

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