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Yes, I tried talking to not one but three sheltered leftist white women for exorbitant rates and in every case my takeaway was 'how can someone this detached from reality re: how humans work, have this degree?' (FWIW I've had much better success with priests, who seem to have a much more credible handle on the experience of being human and how to live in the world, shaped over millennia, untainted by the intellectual rot of the last half century. But I digress.)
Then I did ketamine (and mdma) and all I can say is that it saved my life. It reminded me of who I was before the soul-shattering trauma and showed me who I was called to be. Lost weight, started working out rigorously, dressed better, greatly expanded my business, met the woman of my dreams, and am generally living my best life. I'm not a regular drug user and usually don't even drink, but the work those things did on me has lasted for years now and shows no sign of diminishing.
Even so I wouldn't suggest others try 'drugs' without an extremely informed, experienced, and personally-committed guide. These things can be dangerous or even ruinous, but I was blessed enough to have two such people to help me through that crucible.
Well of course I didn't go looking for that! But yeah this part is difficult to explain and I was certainly being glib in how I described it. My belief that it happened comes from all the history I've read. My conviction that it happened comes from ketamine's unique(?) ability to synthesize many different understandings together into a comprehensible whole. It all fits and I could see that in a way I never had before.
I can confirm this as a reasonably common effect of ketamine on smart people who have done a lot of reading. Something about the dissociative effect unlocks creative synthesis, and allows you to really "feel" it instead of just assenting intellectually. I've had multiple realizations of this type which have all been of great value. Of course this can also oneshot people who aren't smart enough or who have read the wrong books, since the ultimate value comes from the value of the material you're synthesizing. Caveat emptor!
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