The Wednesday Wellness threads are meant to encourage users to ask for and provide advice and motivation to improve their lives. It isn't intended as a 'containment thread' and any content which could go here could instead be posted in its own thread. You could post:
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Requests for advice and / or encouragement. On basically any topic and for any scale of problem.
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Updates to let us know how you are doing. This provides valuable feedback on past advice / encouragement and will hopefully make people feel a little more motivated to follow through. If you want to be reminded to post your update, see the post titled 'update reminders', below.
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Advice. This can be in response to a request for advice or just something that you think could be generally useful for many people here.
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Encouragement. Probably best directed at specific users, but if you feel like just encouraging people in general I don't think anyone is going to object. I don't think I really need to say this, but just to be clear; encouragement should have a generally positive tone and not shame people (if people feel that shame might be an effective tool for motivating people, please discuss this so we can form a group consensus on how to use it rather than just trying it).
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Need to get this off my chest: I got a promotion, a pay rise, and a bonus on Thursday. My manager has apparently stated that I am "very intelligent" (though also need to spend less time trying to get things perfect).
I'm currently up at 3AM feeling nothing but panic.
I've never thought of myself as particularly smart, in spite of protestations to the contrary. I get the sense that I compensate for my general lack of mental acuity by just investing a lot of time trying to understand things. And I fear that the higher I go, the more that's going to show. Instead of feeling accomplished or happy, I instead get the urge to hammer needles underneath my fingernails one by one because of just how guilty I feel about it.
Frankly I don't even feel like I possess basic competence, and view a lot of my life as a protracted process of failing upwards. The more things happen for me, the more I feel like a charlatan, and the more I think I'm going to mess up and everything is going to come crashing down in one way or another.
Anyway, back to trying not to think about it.
My situation is marginally different, but I find myself in a similar boat. After a decade post-graduation of slumming it at an overpaid service industry gig (owner's crony/top driver at a locally-owned doordash clone) because I was too lazy to job hunt followed by a year of going broke in a low-paying blue collar job I was fortunate enough to luck into an office job at a trucking company (thanks to having gotten to know my current boss at my side job as a bartender) that's simultaneously the highest-paying and easiest job I've ever had.
I feel like I'm in some kind of twilight zone where I get paid lower-middle class money to do nothing. I maybe do five solid hours of work a week in the office and my boss is happy with me, and his boss with him. It's a small satellite terminal and I feel like there's enough work for maybe 1.25 people, so I got hired to do some background stuff that my boss finds unpleasant and be his buddy. I was warned by the upper managers who hired me that the slow learning pace would be frustrating and it is, not because I'm struggling to grasp what I'm doing but because I'm asked to do so little and feel like I'm going to get fired because I barely do anything. But hey, my boss is scrolling on his phone/watching TV/shopping online almost as much as I'm scrolling Twitter or reading a novel on my phone, so we're even? I get texts from him about how I've been a blessing in his life. The most important thing I accomplished this week was fixing my boss's refrigerator at his house (I got lucky, the problem wound up being a $10 temperature controller, and it took me about an hour to replace.).
Wow, you've described my job to a T. Very little seems to be expected of me and I am increasingly finding it difficult to actually force myself to work on anything, but nobody seems to have noticed or care, and getting on with my coworker/boss is more important. We both do a lot of screwing around. It's decent pay for a single man, but I feel some crazy pressure on me to improve my skills and move on, which feels like it's going to be more difficult the longer I stay, and even though I have a decent amount of free time, my commute and my laziness make it feel like a lot less if I want to actually do stuff, which I usually don't.
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