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Culture War Roundup for the week of July 28, 2025

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Boys don't like girls, boys like postgrad housewives

What does the man with a lot of romantic options want?

Does he want a beautiful young trophy wife? Does he want a high-earning girlboss?

The answer, according to Lyman Stone, is neither. What he wants (according to the data) is a woman around his age, with the same academic qualifications. Men with younger (and indeed, older) wives are the ones earning less money. What rich men want, it seems, is a (cultural, educational) peer.

With earnings is becomes a bit more complicated. As a man's income goes up, so does the income of his wife. But richer men earn a larger proportion of household income, and the women married to these men are the most likely to not work at all.

So what's going on here? The Red Pill explanation of men preferring younger women doesn't seem to fit, since the men with the most options (high earning ones) are more like to choose women the same age. However, these couples also choose housewifery at the highest rate. My interpretation of this is that the more money a man earns, the more secure in their class position the couple can be. Therefore, they can afford to have the wife give up work without losing their place in the class hierarchy.

The bitter professional woman explanation (men are intimidated by my qualifications and high salary) doesn't seem to work either. Sure, wives of rich men are the least likely to work, but those that do work are also the highest earners among women. A more parsimonious explanation seems to be that high earning women want higher earning men, and they (mostly) get them.

High earning men seem to want class peers. A woman's qualifications are a marker for class, and a woman's high salary is a manifestation of her class. Of course, once married, they can afford for her to stay home more easily than poorer families.

The thing that surprises me most is that you don't see richer men marrying younger women, as all of the older-younger pairings I've seen in real life have involved high-earning men. It might be that richer men marry younger, and therefore there is simply less scope for large age gaps. Or it might be that richer men are more sensitive to judgement from their peers, who would disapprove of larger age gaps.

People fall for specific individual people more than they fall for hypothetical lists of attractive traits. So the women rich men are interested in are often just the ones they happen to have contact with. Statistical differences between groups can't be assumed to reflect the preferences of those groups, they can also reflect who they have contact with in the first place.

Notice how even when they aren't peers they're often stuff like Arnold Schwarzenegger cheating on his wife with his housekeeper, rather than with some beautiful model. That's not "rich celebrities prefer housekeepers", he didn't cheat with some random woman employed as a housekeeper to someone else, he cheated with a woman he was actually in contact with. It reminds me of when people were questioning Jeff Bezos's marriage recently - sure he could theoretically pick between a lot of women, but she was the one he actually met via work.