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PaperclipPerfector
4mo ago
(text post)
2343 thread views
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Notes -
God, I find woman like this grossly unnatractive. If a girl is drug adjacent, and doesn't have her life in order, its a No.
I know it's partly a nice guy ism, but skanks are not capable of consenting to me. We're just not in the same ballpark of decision making capacity or agency.
Their brains are so contorted, with all their little pathologies vying for attention that it makes me complicit in engaging merely because I'm aware.
If I've known them for longer then maybe, but that's only after I've established a connection to all the disparate parts of their unstable personality and I myself have had my agency reduced by the powerful emotional force of time+proximity.
I don't begrudge most other men for "tapping that" but only if they are either unaware of how broken that person is or they themselves are psychologically compromised.
Either you're a big enough manwhore to drown out short memories of woman or those spiritual scars are going to stick with you.
Knowingly canoodling with "a bad idea" is weak. Just jerk off (without porn) before going out. Your too old and experienced to be bed post notch maxing. It's your job dealing with these people, surely that makes it worse somehow.
Aside from that. Great series of posts! You have really struck gold with the "Indian immigrant goes to Scottish gay bar" device. For the television mini series adaption I would make your character have a bleak and empty social life outside the new friends he's made at the bar, while he's grappling with moving back to India due to family pressure of his arranged marriage. Grueling grey work and a cold damp Appartment contrasts with the warm sunny flashbacks of his native home.
The episode structure is the immigrants refreshing non judgemental curiosity of the absurd and colourful characters leading him to learn parts about them no one else bothered to because they couldn't look past their larger than life personalities. At the end of each episode the Indian immigrant gives an impromptu therapy session, leading the subject of the episode resolving some deep issue they had been carrying with them.
Add some bitter struggles with casual racism, and you have all the right ingredients for a BBC dramedy. In my head you look like a young Jason Mantzoukas. Would be Kino casting.
The shorter lady seemed mostly sane! Maybe I'm grading on a curve, but heavy drinking and the consumption of coke.. That is a description that fits probably >70% of men, women, children and pensioners in Scotland.
She actually does seem to have her life mostly together. The apartment was clean and had a feminine touch (better than mine). She waited till getting home before getting sloshed. She's back in uni, finishing up a sensible degree. I later learned that her own daughter was sent over to stay with family that weekend, which is honestly the least anyone should do if they're not settled adults and partying this hard. She had her daughter a long time back, and clearly cared about her.
The taller one? I can't really condone her behavior. Incredibly self-destructive, and worse than self-destruction, a threat to the sanity of the people who are around her.
You and me both. The worst is when they're good at hiding their flaws. An ex of mine probably has BPD too, but she never did anything as outright insane as what I witnessed tonight. It was easy to get attached and imagine a life together.
I am a hopeless romantic, who pretends cynicism and detachment because it makes him seem cooler. I've been badly hurt before, and even watching these train wrecks unfold causes me mild psychic damage. But that's just... dating? Life? There's no service for vetted, sane sexual and romantic partners. You run into one you think meets the bill, and you hold on for dear life.
I must defend myself. I had never met these women before. When I went out to hang, I didn't even know for a fact that there would be women involved. Once I had met them, they initially seemed normal, by Western standards.
It is hard being an immigrant in a foreign land, without friends and family at hand. My colleagues tend to be older, with kids and pensions to worry about. For a long time, I didn't really do nights out or seek an active social life. You're seeing the early days of a recovery, when I don't quite know the people or the city. Hopefully, once I have a more established social network, I can afford to be picky about those I hang out with.
Shit. You've got me pinned like a butterfly to a napkin, using sharpened chopsticks. I am not quite nostalgic about India, I just miss my family, my friends and my dogs, but I do wish for better weather.
I have been slacking on getting my CBT experience signed off on. However, I think my bosses would shoot me if I submitted case reports from the pub.
Fortunately, the casual racism has been a very small component of my life. My new powerlifting buddy might well count, but even he thinks I'm "one of the good ones" or "surprisingly non-horny for an Indian". Yeah.. I actually can't disagree with that, and not just because it's somewhat flattering. A lot of Indian men in the West were starved for feminine contact their entire life, and now go hog wild because the same constraints aren't placed upon them, while having optimistic notions of how "easy" Western women are.
I do not think I am quite as handsome as you envision, but at least I'm not breaking mirrors when I look at them. The BBC has cast worse. Thank you nonetheless!
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