The Wednesday Wellness threads are meant to encourage users to ask for and provide advice and motivation to improve their lives. It isn't intended as a 'containment thread' and any content which could go here could instead be posted in its own thread. You could post:
-
Requests for advice and / or encouragement. On basically any topic and for any scale of problem.
-
Updates to let us know how you are doing. This provides valuable feedback on past advice / encouragement and will hopefully make people feel a little more motivated to follow through. If you want to be reminded to post your update, see the post titled 'update reminders', below.
-
Advice. This can be in response to a request for advice or just something that you think could be generally useful for many people here.
-
Encouragement. Probably best directed at specific users, but if you feel like just encouraging people in general I don't think anyone is going to object. I don't think I really need to say this, but just to be clear; encouragement should have a generally positive tone and not shame people (if people feel that shame might be an effective tool for motivating people, please discuss this so we can form a group consensus on how to use it rather than just trying it).
Jump in the discussion.
No email address required.
Notes -
My father was a workhorse. I have some very good memories of spending time with him as a young boy in his workshop or getting picked up from school but he was often absent, working weekends or double shifts for the extra money and also, I suspect, as a coping mechanism for my mother's infidelity. When we moved to a small town, he was much more physically present but still preoccupied with work. In adulthood, however, he opened up and started talking, and he and I had what I considered to be an excellent relationship before he passed away. My mother, as you may have guessed, not so much. Like problem_redditor*, I also experienced my mother as being controlling, self-centered, manipulative, frequently dismissive, and derogatory towards my father in particular. She and I saw things quite differently, and as a teenager I wasn't concerned with school, college, or career. My only goal was to become independent ASAP. That earned me a measure of respect from her, and once out of the family household I drank the Kool-Aid and spent decades playing the relatively happy and successful child. A little over a decade ago, Dad started developing Alzheimer's, and my wife and I tried to help. As is common in these sorts of situations, all of my family's unhealthiness came out to play during this time period, primarily, my mother's unhealthiness. That almost undid my marriage and I've kept her at arm's distance ever since. She has also developed Alzheimer's and between that and the damage that was done to my life and my marriage, I don't really speak to her anymore.
In navigating life, I've pretty much learned by doing and did not receive much guidance from either of my parents, which is in part a generational thing. That said, I think in a lot of ways my father set a wonderful example for me to follow and I try to do that. He was the kind of guy that spent several years building his own garage/workshop and I'd like to think I have some of that focus and persistence in myself when it comes to the important things in my life, and that his example helps me to believe that I can do just about anything I set my mind to. He also had a pure and loving heart, and I try to live up to the love and acceptance that he was able to show people as well.
*In linking that Wikipedia page, please note that I am referring only to my own mother.
More options
Context Copy link