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naraburns  nihil supernum  1yr ago (text post)   2800 thread views

Friday Fun Thread for January 13, 2023

Be advised: this thread is not for serious in-depth discussion of weighty topics (we have a link for that), this thread is not for anything Culture War related. This thread is for Fun. You got jokes? Share 'em. You got silly questions? Ask 'em.

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How do you notice yourself growing older? I have a mildly amusing anecdote to tell.

For the longest time I used to trigger the mommy mode in older women. The last three years have been spent working remotely, so I had much fewer reference points, but around the new year I had to deal with a few female strangers in their late forties (I'm in my late thirties myself) and the interactions felt a little off, but I couldn't put my finger on what was wrong.

And then it hit me: they were low-key flirting with me. Not in the sense of "how about instead of fixing the zipper on your parka I'll take you to the changing room", but the overall tone of the conversation swiitched from "oh, what a bright boy" to "oh, what a handsome man".

I don't know what triggered this: the beard, the broader silhouette I've gained in the gym, just the years piling up or everything together, but I am not sure how to handle this. I'd rather girls half their age (or half my age) tried to hit on the sexy daddy to match my wife's experience. Or perhaps they already do and I'm just too oblivious and only the women who are old and wise enough to lay it on thick get through?

Older men, especially in service jobs, are more competitive and irritated by my presence these days. In my 20s and younger most older men would dismiss me as a kid but I've noticed that they are trying to jockey for control with me much more the older that I get. If I act anxious or like I expect them to give me bad service (which happens all the time) they can sense this and act hostile toward me, while when I was younger they would be more comfortable with their seniority and just do their job without their ego getting in the way. I have to sort of consciously act respectful and passive toward cab drivers and servers and so on these days just to get an acceptable level of service.

I get more positive attention from fellow gay men though. I think gay men are attracted to masculinity and maturity and getting older has given me more confidence which all make me more attractive to others. A few years ago I was worried that I was getting too old for men to be attracted to me but once I started embracing my 30s and playing up my adult traits I actually became more attractive to people.

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