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Wellness Wednesday for September 24, 2025

The Wednesday Wellness threads are meant to encourage users to ask for and provide advice and motivation to improve their lives. It isn't intended as a 'containment thread' and any content which could go here could instead be posted in its own thread. You could post:

  • Requests for advice and / or encouragement. On basically any topic and for any scale of problem.

  • Updates to let us know how you are doing. This provides valuable feedback on past advice / encouragement and will hopefully make people feel a little more motivated to follow through. If you want to be reminded to post your update, see the post titled 'update reminders', below.

  • Advice. This can be in response to a request for advice or just something that you think could be generally useful for many people here.

  • Encouragement. Probably best directed at specific users, but if you feel like just encouraging people in general I don't think anyone is going to object. I don't think I really need to say this, but just to be clear; encouragement should have a generally positive tone and not shame people (if people feel that shame might be an effective tool for motivating people, please discuss this so we can form a group consensus on how to use it rather than just trying it).

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Thanks man. I've already gone through a long substance abuse arc going through similar things you described, though not as intense, and made it out the other side, by the grace of God. My fiance and I don't plan to drink much if at all around our children, and definitely not get drunk around them.

I think standard abuse via neglect is pretty awful man. Sometimes even worse than beating, if the beating is only occasional and the parent is loving the rest of the time. My father passed at 8, and my mom joined an MLM a couple of years after, so I spent over half of my time from the age of 10 to about 15 onward alone, in my room, mostly gaming or reading. I eventually ended up getting friends, but still had very little parental interaction. I can relate to feeling the frustration of like, ugh I wish I had had a more obviously terrible situation. Though ofc, I do get pity sometimes for my father dying early. Not that it helps much.

Either way, I am actually in a really good spot now. Have a job I can tolerate, and incredible fiance, lots of friends, and generally things are going well. Despite wanting to die for almost a decade growing up, abusing substances, cutting, etc. If you put sustained effort into it, then things can get better. I wish you the best my friend.