The Wednesday Wellness threads are meant to encourage users to ask for and provide advice and motivation to improve their lives. It isn't intended as a 'containment thread' and any content which could go here could instead be posted in its own thread. You could post:
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Sorry for what you had to go through.
First, I want to point out that you never got to see actual conservatism. I know, I know, no true scotsman and all that, but imo one of the most fundamental hallmarks of conservatism is stability and long-term connection to a local community. Your family - in particular your father - seems outright incapable of that. I've had discussions with friends who've had a similarly bad time with their allegedly conservative families, and I had to point out repeatedly to them that their families basically broke all rules you can possibly imagine for conservatives (the very basics, stuff like "don't have three kids from three fathers while being an unemployed single mom"). Conservatism is when both your parents are regularly employed, stay together and don't sleep around, have a decent number of friends (who all life a broadly conservative life), have positions in various local communities, they have a fixed lifestyle that is not substantially changed from their own parents (and their grandparents, and wider family, and so on), they also just simply know lots of people in their environment and are on amicable terms with them, etc. Not necessarily all of those, but most.
I know especially those from difficult backgrounds think this is just make-belief idealised conservatism that doesn't exist in the real world, but it's how I grew up. It exists, you just have to find it, there are whole towns like this. Ironically, this is also why I consider a large part of the mainstream left fundamentally conservative, as much as they hate that term, so YMMV. But contrariwise that also means that as long as you avoid outright woke groups, even many superficially left-wing groups will include lots of women with nice, conservative relationship views (even if they may not admit that to themselves).
So I'd say simple local connections is where you should start. Find local activities and groups that are at least roughly sex-balanced (ideally more woman then men!), intrinsically require human interaction and just do stuff. Dancing is the simplest. But there is so much more; Grow something and sell it on a farmers market (even the growing part can be done in a group). Help out in a local charity. Organize local festivals, and also, simply party there. Language/ethnic affinity groups. Maybe your work has some afternoon activities. The list is endless. You can even just start now shopping around for roommates - you have lots of time after all - and jump-start a social life from there once you've found some good people.
The important part is that you just join various stuff that exists already and try what suits you and has a nice culture. You will have to leave your comfort zone. You will find groups with an odd, toxic culture. Don't get stuck in the wrong place, and also don't let yourself be ruled by your inhibitions. Also, unless you're already very social, don't try to start things yourself.
Once you have a bit more of a social life, finding the right partner will be easier. I'd also advice you to not be particularly choosy, and DEFINITELY don't do that cheesy "oh I'm so damaged and I don't want to hurt you you're just too good for me" routine if you find a nice girl.
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