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I can acknowledge that women have different social styles than men on average, but I don't think this is it. Of course women can be mean and spiteful, sometimes out of proportion. Were you oblivious to how female bullying works in school? Or never seen "fury like a woman scorned"? "Anti-mean" is merely a surface cultural local pretended norm, which can be ignored or circumvented when required. Also can become permanently shifted (there totally are cultures where women are mean to someone from a disadvantaged group).
If I had to guess, the female predisposition is to present agreeableness to local cultural social norms. It includes also policing them, but socially in a way that avoids confrontation that can escalate to violence. Likewise, there is also bias to favor women and their experiences ("believe women"), but I am not certain its anything inherit, it is likely a product of feminist education.
From this perspective, one can steelman that justice system can turn out quite differently when it becomes feminized. Court procedure is bit like a fair fight with a words. You have a right to confront the witnesses against you and all that. Perhaps there will be pressure to avoid that.
Correct; the actual norm is who/whom.
Yes, see the Title IX tribunals, for instance.
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