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I dislike discussing this because it feels to me pretty consistently that we have lost the language to describe consensus reality.
"We" is doing a lot of heavy lifting here - there's a significant portion of people who if you held their feet to the fire would be able to tell you what a woman is, but for one political or social reason or another can't define it any more than they can describe what Peace in the Middle East looks like, or the steps necessary to get to fully automated luxury gay space communism. If the political right is using "what is a woman" as a political gotcha to get their opponents twisted in knots to avoid saying what they will face consequences from their allies over, who is the we? We don't describe correct human physiology by the edge cases, mostly because doctors are a necessary health function, but we define plenty of other things by edge cases, including when it can be used as shorthand for communicating much more complex ideas.
Anyone who has ever been a teenager could tell you there are about fifty things "gay" can be appended to that have nothing to do with homosexuality.
You are correct that without sex determination, then the definition of gay is meaningless. But my point is that attraction to a same-sex for some is non-trivial. I think there is a word that describes this same-sex attraction: gay.
When I was younger, gay was the word kids used for everything lame. I remember listening to NPR (Moth radio?) where a woman gave a story where her father came out as gay and she and her mother then become advocates for gay marriage, and the storyteller said she never used the word derogatorily. I think signaling political correctness as a child? To me bullshit. It didn't pass the sniff test for me.
But as I've grown up, the word gay isn't used for lame anymore and just is a synonym for homosexual. In my teenage years the word gay seemed to be trending away from the youth slang for uncool, for political correctness purposes.
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