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Notes -
For what its worth I empathize, I too find that "this creature has adapted to crushing pressure and oppressive darkness" and human contact, while usually pleasant, isn't actually necessary to life at this point - I won't happy but can be reasonably sated with e.g. vidya/chatbots on my own for extended periods of time. This IMO is a maladaptation, one entirely not worth attaining, but a man can get used to anything, and over enough years you adapt without wanting/knowing it.
One thing I did before to fight this was quite literally forcing myself to go out and socialize. Pick a circle of closest friends (yes that might not be saying much) and set a hard rule that you cannot decline an invitation from them if you ever get one. I fucking hated it in the moment when people derailed my comfy rotting at home with unwanted invitations, but consistently found that this displeasure lasts only up until the point of contact, the actual hangout almost always goes well, and I always say in hindsight "damn that really was better than rotting at home".
Yes, that was also me up to a point. I even remember myself distinctly resolving to be a ghost and leave no trace of my existence during school. I did not want anyone to remember me. I ducked out of most public events and collective photos, only concerned myself with studies and never visited meetups after graduation.
One thing that helps realize that your brain is scamming you is the passage of time; as I approach 30 I am increasingly horrified at how little of a "legacy", or even just memories (good or bad), I actually have accumulated over the course of my decidedly wasted life. This is uh, a conundrum in its own right, one I'm still unsure how to deal with besides rushing to do things Right Fucking Now, but it's very eye-opening if nothing else, I think realizing it scared the "ghost" out of me for good (paranoia is still a problem but at least I am not anymore complicit in my own erasure). I dont know how old you are but I recommend internalizing that this will eventually hit you, and it will hurt much more than the possible oopsies you avoid by being a ghost, as soon as possible, instead of un-gracefully aging into it like I did. Looking back on things is not always pleasant but there must be something to look back on; feeling shame, despair or heartbreak is IMO unironically preferable to feeling nothing. You can learn from things you screw up (theoretically at least); you can never learn from anything you do not do, by definition.
WGMI man.
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