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Friday Fun Thread for December 12, 2025

Be advised: this thread is not for serious in-depth discussion of weighty topics (we have a link for that), this thread is not for anything Culture War related. This thread is for Fun. You got jokes? Share 'em. You got silly questions? Ask 'em.

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Some weeks ago, I shared a court case regarding whether a firefighter's failure to resuscitate two dying babies with CPR counts as "abnormal working conditions" that give rise to a valid PTSD workers' compensation claim, rather than being merely part and parcel of working as a firefighter.

We're really stretching the definition of "fun" today, aren't we? But I suppose type 3 fun is still technically fun, in the same manner that "off" is a TV channel. Everyone needs a hobby.

I haven't consumed commercial pornography in like a decade now. I would like to pretend that I quit watching porn for moral reasons, but I actually just found that while I was aroused by porn, the actual moment of orgasm when I was masturbating inevitably happened while I was looking away from the screen and remembering/remixing memories of partners I had. I realized that porn wasn't really serving any purpose for me.

If we don't want porn stars to make money, if we don't want their names to be common bywords, men need to stop consuming porn. I'm not even asking you to stop masturbating! Just use your imagination and your memories! Think about that time in the back of the car after Kaylee's graduation party, or that girl in the bookshop who never wears a bra.

I usually find myself visualizing past sexual experiences while, uh, watching sex education films. I don't look away from the screen in the process, that's the whole point for me: that the person on the other end is a stand-in and stimuli-enhancer. I also have neutral-to-positive attitude towards porn, so I have zero interest in undercutting the industry or even decreasing my own minimal use

How good is your imagination in this arena? Do you have a "mental spank bank" that surpasses the one on your hard drive?

A hard drive? What is this, 2005? I've got 6 TB's worth of SSDs, and about zero bytes of them dedicated to porn. It lives on the internet, for free, all you need is a VPN if you live in Britbong land (or India).

That being said, I was raised in intellectual poverty, my adolescent awakening coincided with no regular internet access. I got pretty fucking good at doing without. Or course, back then, it was pure imagination. With actual experience under my belt, there's far less fervent dreaming of the texture of bags of sand. Porn is still great, wouldn't want to live without it, even if I could do without.

We're really stretching the definition of "fun" today, aren't we?

As mentioned previously, I include both "interesting" and "funny" in "fun" for the purposes of these threads.

By all means, carry on. I'm just noting the theme being unusually morbid of late.

It's slim pickings sometimes. My normal procedure is to check the following listings in order on Thursday afternoon and try to find one or two interesting or funny cases.

  • New Jersey: Supreme, published appellate, unpublished appellate, published tax, unpublished tax, published trial, unpublished trial

  • Pennsylvania: Commonwealth appellate (includes zoning and workers' compensation stuff), superior appellate (includes most civil and criminal stuff)

  • Something else (federal, New York, Ohio, etc.)

For today's posting, I went through all of New Jersey's opinions for the last week and found nothing either interesting or funny, so the opinion that I ended up posting was a good way into Pennsylvania's Commonwealth Court. Twice in recent months, both New Jersey and Pennsylvania were totally barren, forcing me to post opinions from Ohio or the feds.