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naraburns  nihil supernum  3yr ago (text post)   37556 thread views

Culture War Roundup for the week of January 30, 2023

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Fantasizing isn't bad in and of itself, it's the fact that you're fantasizing about something they would not be ok with that upsets people.

I think there's a legitimate concern that this kind of rule or principle would be too broad in its application, and lead people to unhelpful policing of their own mind.

People who tend towards internalizing disorders like anxiety and depression are already predisposed to get very inside of their heads, and second guess themselves. Telling people like that that they need to worry about whether they're thinking about other people in a respectful way seems like it's just giving these people more tools to torture themselves over their inappropriate thoughts.

I'm fairly emotionally stable, and don't tend towards internalizing disorders, but I have a few friends that do, and the inside of their minds sound like horrible places. They're constantly being unkind to themselves, and even when their lives are going well they feel guilty and can't allow themselves a moment of happiness. Telling people like that that they have to feel bad about sexual thoughts about other people, or fantasies, is just not going to be good of them.

It's going to, at minimum, create OCD people who constantly have intrusive thoughts about fantasizing about the people around them, and who then scrupulously beat themselves up for their failure to live up to the highest human ideals.

I'd rather have rules that don't stigmatize normal parts of human cognition, and don't have the risk of being taken way too far for a portion of the population.

I think the norm of, "It's perfectly normal to sexually fantasize about people you know, but don't let your fantasies affect how you treat them", is a much more actionable norm with fewer downsides, compared to, "Sexually fantasizing about people you know is morally wrong, and you should probably feel bad for doing it."

I think that's a fair point, but that to combat that we should emphasize the difference between thoughts that just pop into your head and thoughts you actively entertain. It's only the latter which poses a moral problem, not the former.

I do sympathize with the plight of people who struggle with mental difficulties. I am one of those people. But I also don't think that the solution is to say "well it's ok" out of concern for their well being. There has to be a middle ground, it seems to me.

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