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PaperclipPerfector  3mo ago (text post)   33401 thread views

Culture War Roundup for the week of January 5, 2026

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I would hope that if a couple is committing to a monogamous relationship i.e. to only ever taking sexual pleasure from each other from now on, then both sides would work hard to make sure that the other is feeling satisfied, which maybe sometimes means at least trying things. Partly out of obligation, partly because it would make someone who they hopefully care about happy. For the woman maybe sometimes it means blowjobs, for the man maybe it means roleplaying Mr. Darcy or Poldark or something else they find hideously embarrassing. And one would hope that equally each side would respect when their partner really doesn't want to do something. But a pre-emptive 'we're never doing that and don't you ask me again' seems a poor way to treat a partner.

Or to put it another way, sure, porn gives people more ideas of how to give their partner pleasure, some of which will turn out to be good in real life and some won't. This sounds like broadly a good thing to me if approached with care and affection, and I don't see what this has to do with promiscuity outside the relationship.

Oh sure, trying things. But there has to be reciprocity; one partner can't be the one always asking "do this for me" but then refusing when asked the same on the grounds "ugh, that's disgusting/nah not interested in that/too much work".

And if you hit a hard limit, then pushing too hard gets messy because suddenly you're blowing up your marriage and your settled life over "if I don't get this one particular thing, I'll be miserable and unhappy forever and it's not like ordinary sex is pleasurable, and I really really really need my partner to indulge my piss-drinking kink".

Definitely, 100%.

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