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Culture War Roundup for the week of January 5, 2026

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USA really, seriously wants to own Greenland.

Trump has made this extremely clear ever since his first presidency when he first offered to buy the island from the Danish government. At the time, the Danes made it very clear that this was not possible. They could not legally sell the island, and if they could, it still would not be for sale. This presidency, he has been probing around, trying to find an effective strategy that can give the administration what they want. He made that clear in 2025 by essentially stating that no tactic is off the table. He has since attempted the following:

  1. Threaten a military takeover. He did this by stating that military intervention was not considered off the table.This was shut down by European leaders promising to retaliate.
  2. Convince the locals to declare independence. In reality, independence for Greenland means choosing a new master (thus creating an obvious opportunity for the US), as their current society cannot survive without subsidies from a wealthier nation. However, the administration failed to convince the Inuits. I suspect they might return to this strategy in the future though, if the current one does not work.
  3. Currently, the administration is attempting to use the situation in Venezuela as leverage. They are showing that the threats of invasion were not empty, using the implication to frighten the relevant parties into submission. Once again, European leaders have, through indicating support for Denmark, threatened retaliation if the US invades. I suspect this will be enough to deter the administration once more. Although if Europe had not been supportive and instead let Denmark stand alone, I do not doubt that America would be planning an invasion right now.

This begs the question though: Why does the US want Greenland so badly? It is a frozen rock in the middle of the ocean, with an entire population living off government subsidies. Why not just let Denmark pay the bill while the states keep their bases? I have some ideas below, ordered from what I think makes the least sense to the most:

  1. It is a hedge against global warming. As the earth grows hotter, Greenland will become increasingly habitable, making the island much more valuable as other landmasses are swallowed by the ocean.
  2. Real estate for data centers. The island is cold and remote, with a lot of empty space and rare earths in the ground. To my layman's knowledge though, construction of the necessary infrastructure would be ludicrously expensive, even though the land itself might be cheap. Still, I would not put it past the likes of Elon Musk to try something like this anyway.
  3. To secure the North Atlantic against military threats. This seems like the official reason, but I don't really buy it. America already has military bases on Greenland, and I do not see why the military could not simply send more equipment and personnel there if the government wanted a larger presence. No official ownership necessary. If this is wrong, then I invite any other commenter to correct me.
  4. To control the rare earths. Rare earths are a priority of the Trump administration, and even though extracting them is supposedly ridiculously expensive, the mere possibility of another country (China) gaining access to them might be enough to warrant official occupation. This way, the US government, not the Inuits, would be in control of who is allowed to mine there.
  5. It is in the American "Sphere of Influence". It is possible that the world order is turning towards one in which Great Powers (USA, Russia, China, and maybe the EU) hold influence over the smaller countries in their vicinity. The smaller countries remain sovereign and independent as long as they operate in the interest of their great power. In this scenario, the USA views all of the Americas as being under her sphere of influence, including Canada and Greenland. These countries will either bow to their leader or suffer her wrath.
  6. The purpose is to secure Trump's (and more broadly, the Republican's) legacy as president. Trump clearly cares a lot about his image, with the most recent example being how hard he has tried to win the Nobel Peace price. Successfully expanding the nation's territory with the world's largest island would go down in the history books, cementing this administration as potentially the greatest one since world war 2.

If Trump takes Greenland, the US loses Europe, and most of their allies.

I don't think that we would get a full-on war of loyalist NATO vs US. In the end, the US has the military capabilities to conquer Greenland. I would welcome it if my government dropped a few billions on whatever people might be willing to fight the US in the arctic, though, just as I am fine with my government dropping billions on Ukraine. Paying to hurt defectors is the least we can do to strengthen the rule-based order.

But at the end of the day, Greenland is 578 times less populous than Ukraine. Eventually the US would win.

But for the rest of NATO (Europe, but also Canada), that would radically change our strategic situation. Not only could we no longer depend on the US to defend us from other large powers, we would have to treat the US as one of the conquering hostile powers itself. Step one would be to politely ask US troops to leave Europe. Step two would be to get our retaliatory capacity up to speed. This means building a lot of nuclear weapons and delivery systems, so we can credibly threaten to turn most US cities into rubble.

We probably would not want a defensive alliance with Canada or Mexico (because the risk for Canada to become the next target of Vance's territorial ambitions in 2028 is obviously higher than for Belgium), but should probably cooperate with them in developing ICBMs. Colombia also looks like a country which might be interested in buying a few nukes, personally I would take their dollar bills despite the powder sticking to them.

For the Major Non-NATO Allies (e.g. Australia, Japan, South Korea), their strategic landscape would likewise change: if Trump will attack NATO countries, he will certainly also be willing to take a slice of Australia by force. Probably all of these would suddenly become very interested in nuclear weapons programs. (The MNNA which will have to do the least updating of their strategic picture is Colombia, as the US is already the prime military threat for them. In general, in South America and Muslim countries, the US does not have the same reputation as a steadfast ally as they do in European-origin countries.)

I can not say I would like such a development over the status quo. The pax americana was a win-win-win for the US, its western allies and the world. The US became the leader of the free world. Western allies like the Netherlands gained great security guarantees. The world got some reprieve from the security dilemma as western allies were not incentivised to build their own ICBMs to keep each other in check.

Even in this unlikely set of circumstances I think Europe just pays France to build an extra nuke sub that'll be done twenty years from now, peddles one buttcheek to China in order to feel reasonably secure playing both sides of the divide, and then continues sliding merrily into irrelevance. Whatever bearded mullahs are running Europe by the time I die won't care about any of this anyway.