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Notes -
I pretty much agree, but that’s why every culture needs a level of default pronatal propaganda. You need even more pronatal propaganda today than in the 19th century, which already had a ton, because of screens and extracurriculars, as parents have more opportunity for entertainment and kids require more time doing extra-curriculars. Propaganda just means selectively drawing your attention to the pleasant aspects of some activity versus another. To joyfully endure dealing with the bad aspects of having kids, you need to be reminded of the good aspects all the time. Moments of innocent joy when they do something new, witnessing human nature, being able to give your kid talents and skills like he’s a brand new account on an RPG, feeling proud that you’ve completed your duty, believing you are making the world a better place. Intrinsic joys + socially-mediated joys. Now it’s more pleasant in total, so you will do it.
Another thing is that parents need to know how punishment works. As long as the behavior is followed immediately by something unpleasant, you never need to yell or get stressed or anything, but the punishment needs to be more unpleasant than the misdeed is pleasant, which parents get wrong. If he throws something at his brother, that’s really fun, so he will keep doing that even after you yell and give a 10min time out, because if’s worth it. And instead of saying “because you have to” or “because I told you so”, you need to invent frightening stories about monsters and curses and other bad consequences, as every culture in history did. This is essential so that your kid doesn’t see you as a tyrant, instead he sees you as a guide and rescuer in a life filled with monsters.
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