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Notes -
As someone with a hobby for trying to theory-of-mind others' fetishes, I would imagine that there is some element of taking observation/judgement to detract from the enjoyability of the act, or feel oppressive in a way that doesn't let you fully indulge sexually - some sort of anti-exhibitionism (except not necessarily concerned with the gaze of third parties as much as with that of your target?), and closely related to the time stop trope (the thing where the protagonist can freeze his time for everyone but himself and have his way with the bodies of other people in everyday situations, the targets being none the wiser).
If you were to feel crushingly self-conscious about how the person you are performing any sexual act with perceives you, it would make sense that any act where that possibility is not removed would be strictly inferior.
Close, but you’re way off. I think I’d describe it more as “Will you please just shut up and stop getting in the way of my enjoyment”. Sex with a conscious partner is like trying to watch a movie with someone who’s always interrupting: “Ooh can we rewind I liked that bit”, “Volume up please!”, “Want some popcorn?”; and I’m like do you mind I’m trying to concentrate. Being obliged to consider someone else’s watching preferences takes me right out of the zone.
Now, in fairness, sometimes you really are more interested in the watch party bantz than the watching itself. But not often.
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