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What are the hard lines in your life and the default actions you'll take if they're crossed?
I've concluded that there are many situations in which "hard" lines will be moved back when crossed unless they're pre-defined. This is similar, but not identical, to normalization of deviance. For example, a person should probably figure out what level of domestic abuse will cause them to leave? Yelling? Pinching? Full-on punching? Of course, you shouldn't blindly take the action, but it should be the default unless you get convinced otherwise.
Some ideas I have, not all of which I necessarily believe in or will abide by (line --> action; in no particular order):
Partner cheats on you --> break up
Raise of <X% at work --> start new job search
Work more than X hours or Y weekends in given time period --> start new job search
Make more than $X/year --> donate $Y/year to charity
Government violates X right --> protest against or flee the country
Achieve $X net worth --> retire
Health scare (heart attack, etc) or issue (weight > X, LDL > Y, etc) --> change lifestyle (diet, exercise, hobbies, job, etc)
$X loan to friend not repaid by friend --> end relationship with friend
If I get over 160 lbs I will cut myself off from sugary soda. I love sugary drinks, I can't stand diet. I also lucked out with a naturally high metabolism which is the only thing saving me from my sedentary lifestyle. But my weight was slowly creeping up for a while, and when it got too high and my gut started bulging out I cut out the soda and held them hostage until I got my eating habits under control and lost weight so I could have them back. And it worked, and so I brought the soda back. And now my weight is gradually but steadily climbing back up. I'm really hoping it just stabilizes at an acceptable level without me having to do anything, because I really really like sugary drinks, more than sugary foods, but I refuse to just let myself go completely without limits.
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