Do you have a dumb question that you're kind of embarrassed to ask in the main thread? Is there something you're just not sure about?
This is your opportunity to ask questions. No question too simple or too silly.
Culture war topics are accepted, and proposals for a better intro post are appreciated.
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Notes -
Its an interesting question that depends at least in part on what my overall objective in talking to this person is. In "preserve the relationship" mode I usually couch it to be minimally offensive to the asker and to invite them to "agree" with me on something rather than immediately sort me into the 'enemy' basket.
But when I'm feeling spicy I like to say "well I'd love to see the current Federal Government catch fire and burn down entirely" which is entirely honest as to my core feelings but doesn't actually reveal whether I agree with or don't agree with the current administration's actions.
I had the version of this happen VERY recently where the woman I'm casually interested in ask "are you a Democrat or Republican" and get very insistent I answer. I was stumped just a bit because... well why would you just assume those are the only two options on the table?
Whereas the strictly true answer is "I've been unaffiliated since High School and thus I am not registered as Republican OR Democrat", I opted to say "I voted for Trump, I voted for Desantis, and I did a straight Republican ticket in the last two elections." Somehow this wasn't quite good enough, and I guess her REAL goal was to very cleanly identify which tribe I personally identified with. Fair enough. So I then said "I watched the Turning Point halftime show, not the Bad Bunny one." (not mentioned: "watched" means I sat in a bar that had swapped channels, but I was not particularly interested in the Bad Bunny show so I mostly zoned out while it was on.)
We're still talking, though. She's openly Republican so I guess I passed the "not a libtard" smell test.
I don't mind answering the question, but I dislike the vast majority of discussions based around tribal politics (present company excluded) so I will always try to shift the topic to something still 'controversial' but where I can't 100% predict their response ahead of time based on tribal signifiers.
I like to imagine that, at the best of times, we're one meta-level up, discussing the fact of tribal politics and why some topics or events acquire valence in the culture war while others don't. Whereas I assume most people asking you "are you a Democrat or a Republican?" just take it as read that their team is Good, the other team is Bad, and they want to know which team you're on.
Exactly.
I know full well if I answer the question straightforward that will dictate how the person treats me going forward.
Whereas if you just don't broach the topic with them then generally you can maintain amicable relations indefinitely. I had a guy who I KNOW (thanks to his Facebook posting) is a hard lefty over to my house about a month ago (party I hosted) but there was no discomfort because nobody interrogated anyone else on their positions, and I don't have a ton of political paraphernalia adorning my walls and such. This equilibrium is possible to maintain... but also easy to break.
I daresay sometimes we can even get two meta levels up, discussing the ways in which the human tribal tendency exacerbates certain social problems simply by making it impossible for solutions to get discussed or important actions agreed on. Its very useful to sometimes take a BIG step back and acknowledge we're all overdeveloped primates that barely cling to civilization thanks to having souls (from the theological standpoint) or, for those who prefer it, prefrontal cortexes and the capacity for high order language.
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