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Notes -
lot of good points here (esp. re: intelligence & respect), but I want to focus on one thing. I think you're highly attuned to social signaling in a way not everyone is by default.
The cab driver incident: you heard him chuckle, read condescension into it, then re-examined your behavior and read condescension into that. Maybe he just had a private joke with himself. Maybe something about your accent amused him. You were a tourist trying to be polite and helpful. Honestly, in your own mind, were you really being condescending?
One time I was mountain biking with my father. Wide logging road, plenty of space. We passed two hikers, waved, smiled, and said hello. They made an exaggerated show of jumping aside, the man shielding his partner from the big scary machines. (really, there was like 4ft of space between us, and no danger). This ate at my dad all day. What had we done wrong? He kept wondering and bringing it up every few hours.
point is, I could come up with a grand theory of respect and owed deference to explain why either of us was in the wrong, but the truth is, I just don't know. I rather enjoy not thinking about it. My dad couldn't put it out of his mind, and it made him miserable all day. If you go through life running every social interaction through an overactive status filter, you'll read malice into things that are probably honest mistakes.
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