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Come now. If you require absolute perfection in my fictional analogies, let him be armed to the teeth while you are on your way to the gun shop to do something about an unfortunate jam.
Again, please consider the main point. Europe is much poorer and weaker than America. I wish it weren't so, but it's so. And yes, threats from you freak us the fuck out because we are sane and it is sane to be worried when the massive, much more powerful nation who just black-bagged a head of state starts making threats.
And since Denmark has categorically refused to sell it, you will happily agree that taking it by force or e.g. economic compulsion through tariffs is completely off the table, yes? Because that would be a spectacularly shitty way to treat an ally who is on your side. Yes?
I'm not even being sarcastic, particularly! The fact that apparently-reasonable Americans, when asked whether America should mug a loyal ally and take their stuff, have a good chance of either shrugging or enthusiastically agreeing is also part of what's creeping people out. Europeans read American newspapers, blogs, and websites. We know what you say to each other.
And even though I suspect that most Americans read anything negative about Trump and their minds immediately present an outrageous French-accented person saying, "Tell me, do you now see your foolishness and disavow your president? Ohohoho!" these are real issues and your behaviour really matters.
Yeah, the US should not take any territory by force outside of a just war situation.
Economic levers are more of a gray area. Just saying, "hey I'd buy this land from you," is an economic lever. Tariffs are getting a bad rap but weren't all that weird too long ago. Denmark doesn't technically have any right to sell things to Americans, though I would like them to be able to do so. I think tariffing Denmark would be imprudent but not strictly immoral if the President had that power reserved to him. (He does not, at least not to the extent he has been trying to use them.)
If China submitted an offer to buy California I think the same Americans who supported buying Greenland would consider it, especially if there was a way to drag it closer to the Chinese mainland. (Maybe the debt crisis will be resolved that way.) Borders are not eternal. I'm surprised Denmark didn't even consider the offer, or what they could get for their far off inhospitable territory. I would be curious to know what their price is.
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