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Notes -
I broadly agree that men and women have different psychology around kids and nurturing, but has there been much research into ways gay men are psychologically more similar to women?
Like, aside from the obvious thing of being attracted to men, it seems like gay culture in several different times and places tends to adopt a lot of the trappings of the female gender role. Is this just because it is a slightly better way to seduce "straight guys", or does it reflect actual biological differences in gay men? Do gay men tend to have more thing-orientation, or person-orientation?
Is it possibly the case that gay men are better nurturers, on average, than straight men? (Though, if this turned out to be true, it would just shift to the idea that two lesbians raising kids would probably be a bad idea. Unless it is an averaging effect of some sort with other biological factors balancing out, then maybe the best nurturing parents might be: straight woman > lesbian woman ~= gay man > straight man.)
I guess there are tops and bottoms. Of my gay friends I would assume two are tops and the third not sure on. The tops definitely act more masculine and why I find it easier to be friends.
Bottoms probably are a little bit more of a nurturer personality but I would still doubt they come close to the average female nurturing personality trait.
I would be curious what % of gay men would find my comment offensive. It’s sort of taking away a right many think they should have today. But they also don’t find females attractive and I am confirming that men and women are different. And confirming their masculinity. You can be my bro and drink beers together but obviously because we are men neither of us should design a life to be primary care givers to a child.
From the gay (and bi) men I know there’s not really a strict separation between tops and bottoms, most are vers and many will change their preferences over time, and I’ve rarely met stereotypically feminine gay men the way I’ve met stereotypically masculine lesbians.
Maybe it’s because most of the fems end up as trans women these days, so the gay male population ends up consisting of guys who are at least mildly comfortable with their masculinity (even if it’s limited to working out and growing a beard).
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