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PaperclipPerfector  10d ago (text post)   24673 thread views

Culture War Roundup for the week of April 27, 2026

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I can't take credit for the following idea, but I don't remember where I stole it from either.

Trying to talk to women about the actual mechanics of sexual/romantic relationships is like trying to talk to a restaurant critic about the intricacies of cooking a difficult dish. They can't. They know what they like, they have some idea of the different techniques that produce the food they review, but they aren't in the business of producing meals for others to eat. Women have this same relationship to romance. They're very interested in it, but they never actually produce it.

All they do is consume and judge.

They want quality final products. No counterfeits, no bait and switch. They don't care how its made. How hard could it be?

You can talk about the mechanics, and women will take an interest, but you still have to make the dish. Make the dish, and these problems go away.

Trying to talk to women about the actual mechanics of sexual/romantic relationships is like trying to talk to a restaurant critic about the intricacies of cooking a difficult dish. They can't. They know what they like, they have some idea of the different techniques that produce the food they review, but they aren't in the business of producing meals for others to eat. Women have this same relationship to romance. They're very interested in it, but they never actually produce it.

All they do is consume and judge.

They want quality final products. No counterfeits, no bait and switch. They don't care how its made. How hard could it be?

Yeah, another thing about that analogy:

Suppose there were a community of restauranteurs who strategized about ways to get 5-star reviews from critics. Perhaps they would suggest making critics wait 5 or 10 minutes before seating them or whatever. You can bet that critics would scoff and object if they heard about it. The critics would insist they can see right through those games and any restaurant which does stuff like that probably has lousy food.

Trying to talk to women about the actual mechanics of sexual/romantic relationships is like trying to talk to a restaurant critic about the intricacies of cooking a difficult dish. They can't. They know what they like, they have some idea of the different techniques that produce the food they review, but they aren't in the business of producing meals for others to eat. Women have this same relationship to romance. They're very interested in it, but they never actually produce it.

This hasn't been my experience. Romance has been somewhere between 40-60, 50-50, and 60-40 generated in every adult relationship I've ever been in. The only examples have been bad dates, but that's not really a relationship and I was the one not feeling it for someone who was reaching out with playful teasing and flirting just as much as I've been on the other end.

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