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Culture War Roundup for the week of May 4, 2026

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The problem is your wife is suspecting you're unfaithful. That is a problem! Yes, once that problem is there, then you have no recourse but to solve it.

But in this thread it seems people are recommending men make a habit of asking their wives for paternity tests with every child even if there is no real reason to be suspicious. And I can tell you, it would not go over well and neither should it.

even if there is no real reason to be suspicious. And I can tell you, it would not go over well and neither should it.

You're trying to eat your cake and have it too.

If there's no real reason to be suspicious and it's just "I'm supposed to do this anyway", then the wife would be wrong to take it as meaningful distrust, and shouldn't.

If there is real reason to be suspicious, then he definitely should be asking, and she would be in the wrong to take offense at the possibility which by hypothetical is realistic.

Not all wives are like you, by the way. I didn't ask for a paternity test and don't snoop on my wife's phone, but this is directly related to the fact that she wouldn't object if I did. Likewise, my wife wouldn't ask me to take the fidelity test, and this is directly related to the fact that I'd happily take it to ease her concerns.

Sure, I'd be a bit concerned that she felt a need to ask in the first place, but the next step for individuals worthy of the trust is "Of course I'll help you verify, and you absolutely have the right to expect verification".

I feel like people are responding to something I didn't say.

What I did say: I would be ok with paternity tests becoming common place and routine as just a normal part of a hospital birth. In such a world, there is no reason to take offense. But in this world, a specific husband asking his specific wife is obviously offensive to her.

What I am responding to is stuff like this comment, where people feel like every father should ask this of his wife at every birth before agreeing to be on the birth certificate, regardless of any evidence of cheating.

If you ask your wife for a paternity test... your relationship is going to have problems after. So don't do it unless you already have problems.