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There has been some new study recently showing that female promiscuity, just like male promiscuity, is limited to a small subset of the total population. Before I deleted X, I saw several posts asking why non-promiscuous men are still chasing the "hoes" (and are complaining about them) instead of concentrating on the majority of women that aren't. I want to propose a hypothesis.
But first, a digression. Imagine a happily married gay couple, Fred and Steve. It's Saturday afternoon, their adopted kids won't be back home for a couple more hours, all the chores are done, and Fred's looking bored and restless. Steve suggests a quickie to pass the time. Is Fred down for it? I would bet my money on yes.
Now replace Fred with Frida. Suddenly, the odds are completely different. I am not saying that all women are not into random acts of intercourse, but the proportion of them that are dtf is low enough that reversing the bet makes total financial sense.
What does this have to do with promiscuity? My hypothesis is that it's significantly correlated with overall sex drive in women. (Feel free to nominate me for the Ig Nobel prize.) There are some non-promiscuous, but libidinous women, except they don't stay on the dating market long, just like reasonably prices houses in good locations are almost never seen on Zillow. The visible parts of the dating market are promiscuous women and women with low sex drive. In the past the concepts of "putting out", "marital duty" obscured this dynamic, but modern women have been brought up knowing they don't owe anyone sex and don't have to hide their (dis)interest. And given that single lives are now easier than ever, why bother with trying to date such women at all? Better to concentrate on the visibly promiscuous women or on the age cohorts that are just entering the dating market, both of them have a higher share of women with a high enough sex drive.
Are women actually less horny than men on average? I think I have about an average sex drive for a man, and while it's hard to remember clearly, I feel that at least half of the women I've fucked had a higher sex drive than me. They might have been more selective than the average man when it comes to deciding whom to fuck, but once they selected me (or any other man who passed the selection, I'm sure), they wanted to fuck a lot.
Of course, it's possible that my behavior and/or looks has been selecting for unusually horny women. Hard to say.
As for the gay couple example: I'm not actually sure that works as differently from straight couples as you might think. Sure, men like (or think they like) random acts of intercourse. But men also like sexual variety, indeed it's possible that most men are hard-wired to desire sexual variety whether they want to fuck women or they want to fuck men. What if Stevie suggests the quickie and, despite their marriage being happy in all other aspects, Fred thinks "Not again... I'm tired of fucking this guy"? Besides the issue of sexual variety, it's also likely that one of either Fred or Steve just naturally has a higher sex drive than the other, even though they are both men.
Maybe you are one of the unusually promiscuous men?
I am, but I think that most women I've been with have been less promiscuous than me, or about equally promiscuous, so I'm not sure that my impression of female horniness has necessarily been formed by experiences with unusually promiscuous women.
That said, I guess that "less promiscuous than me" might possibly still be more promiscuous than the average woman. I've certainly spent a large fraction of my sexual energy among the kind of people who did not settle down in a long-term relationship at a young age.
Now that I think of it, it's also kind of hard to compare male and female promiscuity anyway. A man and a woman might have the same level of raw desire to fuck, yet fuck different quantities of other people due to other factors... it's easier for the average woman to find a willing sex partner quickly than it is for a man, but on the other hand, casual sexual adventuring is also physically more dangerous for her than it is for a man. Etc.
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