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PaperclipPerfector  4d ago (text post)   16559 thread views

Culture War Roundup for the week of May 18, 2026

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I get the impression that many in their 30s want third spaces, though like healthy food, they're too lazy to act. They would also be a better alternative for those in their 20s who go to college only for the social experience, and don't use their degree afterwards.

I doubt we can revert to past third spaces, but maybe the evolution of social media will create new in-person experiences. Like how GLP-1 helps people lose weight. Or the asocial people (who used to be pressured into socializing) may die off.

I get the impression that many in their 30s want third spaces

Do the ones with children want them? I get the impression this is some type of bonobo signal for childless bohemian millennials. They need something to fill the void.

It would be nice to have more indoor cheap kid places when the weather is bad. There are bounce and indoor playground places, but they are surprisingly expensive. These are still acceptable library programs, but not all that often.

At the quantity of kids that 30 somethings are having it seems plausible. One kid per parent is manageable, or it can be an evening to get away from the kids. I never want to predict the future lest I get bit in the ass but I take my toddler out. It's not everything it was before he started coming out with me but I just get to hang out with other parents as our kids interact. Or one parent takes a few kids and you trade off.

There's also the ultimate third space of Church where if they at all want to grow will have child management.

I'm an older millennial so I don't get the full experience of the kids these days, but the weekly trivia night I go to has a great ratio of younger adults, so does the church I attend.

As you noted I suspect the people complaining are lazy and also have a propensity to be weirdos who other's don't want to be around.

They want third spaces to exist, but they don't want to start them or put the required effort into them to make them flourish. Most people are just free riders that want the benefits. I run a local board game meetup and trying to get people to do anything more than show up (and even then) is very hard.

anything more than show up

But surely that's exactly the point of third spaces. They aren't supposed to be activities you have to put effort into - the whole point of third spaces is to enable what, for lack of a better term, I'll call socially-acceptable indoor loitering. When the bar and the bowling alley are third spaces, you don't go to the bar to drink, and you don't go to the bowling alley to hone your skill at the game. If you want your board game meetup to fulfill that role, you need to stop worrying about whether the people who show up actually play board games. Otherwise you're just running a hobbyist group. Hobbies are socially valuable too, but they're a different thing.

Sorta, if your goal is to just show up at the bowling alley or bar and not provide anything, the "socially acceptable loitering" I don't think you can complain when the space shuts down because it ran out of business by having too many free loaders. You don't need to be a try-hard at drinking or bowling but you should pay for a lane, buy a few drinks to nurse, and contribute to the community. In my specific case, it's "nominally" a board game hobbyist group but its more of a social space. We do a lot of non-board game things, social events, dinners, etc. But there are people that contribute to the community/space in the form of hosting/planning events, bringing supplies, food, and there are people that just show up, give no effort other than their presence. A community/space cannot survive with a too large majority of the latter.

I'd struggle to think of any hobbyist group that is not some form of third space. The simple law of reality is that in order for something to exist, someone needs to make it exist. And that requires effort. Legislating a third space into existence does nothing. Someone needs to actually go organize the community garden, the local pub, the dance hall. And if they get hit by a bus, and the third space falls apart? Well then someone else needs to step up and do the work.

That's totally fair. I misinterpreted "trying to get people to do anything more than show up" as suggesting you were mad at people not actually doing the signposted activity, rather than people refusing to do their fair share of the admin/etc.

A fair assumption, my b for not being more clear.

I want to second this. It's why I chose trivia, but trivia is just an excuse. I don't care if we answer a single question. It's mean to be a super low commitment reason to hang out. Granted it does help that we are one of the best teams in the area... winning is fun. But we do have regulars who almost never answer a single question.

Also if you do want to take it to the next level and create a friend group that does require some effort and sacrifice. But it's worth it, just don't expect everyone to contribute the same amount.

In my conception of effort, the effort required is not the people showing up to trivia, its the organizer. The one who gets the questions every week, contacts restaurants and bars for hosting, markets the event, etc. Regulars are great and you can't have a reliable third space without them, but if that organizer did not organize it, there would be no event. And if enough organizers in the local area don't organize it, there is no local trivia community.

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