The Wednesday Wellness threads are meant to encourage users to ask for and provide advice and motivation to improve their lives. It isn't intended as a 'containment thread' and any content which could go here could instead be posted in its own thread. You could post:
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Requests for advice and / or encouragement. On basically any topic and for any scale of problem.
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Updates to let us know how you are doing. This provides valuable feedback on past advice / encouragement and will hopefully make people feel a little more motivated to follow through. If you want to be reminded to post your update, see the post titled 'update reminders', below.
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Advice. This can be in response to a request for advice or just something that you think could be generally useful for many people here.
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Encouragement. Probably best directed at specific users, but if you feel like just encouraging people in general I don't think anyone is going to object. I don't think I really need to say this, but just to be clear; encouragement should have a generally positive tone and not shame people (if people feel that shame might be an effective tool for motivating people, please discuss this so we can form a group consensus on how to use it rather than just trying it).
Jump in the discussion.
No email address required.
Notes -
Met my wife on OkCupid, we chatted for a week or two before setting up a first date. We were about 2 hours away from each other, and I set up a first date closer to her. While we were waiting for the date to arrive she asked if she could come up and see me before that. It's quite nice to have someone else clearly excited about the relationship and willing to go out of her way for it.
I told her I loved her on the first date, and while that was obviously premature it turns out to have been correct. The experience was just so overwhelmingly better than any relationship I had been in before, and I didn't think the past relationships were bad, but this was just a whole other level. She would not say it back to me, though she expressed interest
We talked about marriage and children on the first date, in the sense of "is this where your plans eventually end up?" but I don't know when we actually started talking about "ok, let's get married for real". I know at some point her position was "it's up to you, I'm ready to say yes any time you're ready to propose", probably about a year or so in.
I ended up effectively moving into her place within a month or two of seeing her, in that my visits would just span multiple weeks. I was looking to buy a house at the time and when I did so, <6mo after the relationship started, I invited her to move in with me. From there, my strategy was essentially "let's wait and see to make sure nothing bad pops up": over time living together you learn each others' quirks and any problems you might have, you see the other person at their worst. So I gave it about 2 years, nothing concerning happened despite some decent low points (surgery recovery, difficult work conditions), and went ahead and proposed.
How long have you been married?
Less than a year.
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