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PaperclipPerfector  18hr ago (text post)   676 thread views

Friday Fun Thread for May 22, 2026

Be advised: this thread is not for serious in-depth discussion of weighty topics (we have a link for that), this thread is not for anything Culture War related. This thread is for Fun. You got jokes? Share 'em. You got silly questions? Ask 'em.

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have sex with your hand

I'm afraid I have bad news for you. Or great news, depending on how you look at things.

Probably not the worst analogy to the Stranger Things denouement. It's a good enough simulation of the actual thing to give a lot of the same feelings, but there's a core missing that just prevents it from achieving the same things as what it's simulating. And it's a lousy way to finish a 10-year-long relationship.

One prominent sex-education website claims that masturbation should be considered a form of sex.

Is Masturbation Better Than Sex?

Sorry, Wrong Question

So first of all the question is wrong for three reasons. Sorry about that.

(1) Masturbation is sex and so if something is a thing it can’t be better than that thing. This is called philosophy.

(2) The question implies that the only kind of sex that is real sex is sex with another person, which is wrong. Solo sex is sex.

(3) It also makes out that masturbation itself isn’t sex and that only penetration is ‘real’ sex. There is no ‘real sex’, just sex. I think that if we start to see sex as what may or may not be enjoyable to us, rather than what is ‘real’ or not, then we might find it easier to enjoy.

Solo Sex

Some people just prefer not to have sexual and/or romantic relationships with other people. It doesn’t mean that they don’t like sex, they just want to do it with themselves. Maybe they have had difficult relationships in the past, or just don’t really feel very connected to many people. Perhaps they’ve had sex with other people and it was crap, or non-consensual and just don’t want to go back there. There are many reasons why people just prefer to have sex with themselves – and it’s totally totally okay.

ToaKraka, you are a wise man. I am less wise, and wish to enquire if it's masturbation when one side of a Siamese twin jerks off the other.

In all honesty, arguing about whether masturbation is "sex" is arguing about semantics. I'm fond of that kind of mental masturbation, but I think trying to use it as a central example is inappropriate. If I ask a patient if they're sexually active, I don't want to know if they had a recent date with Rosie Palm and her five sisters. In a non-clinical context, if my buddy rings me up and tells me about the great sex he had last night, I'd kick him in the butt if it was that banal.

If it doesn't involve physical contact with and penetration of another person, doesn't count for me.

if my buddy rings me up and tells me about the great sex he had last night, I'd kick him in the butt if it was that banal.

On the other hand, perhaps you'd slap him on the palm if it was banal?

I'm glad you noticed the innuendo. I'll update the tally accordingly.

To be clear, I was just pointing out the fact that at least some people seriously hold this view, not actually endorsing the view.

ToaKraka, you are a wise man.

LOL.

Away from me, spirit of Satan!

Lending yourself a hand is the best way to get rid of the spawn. Can't comment on the diabolical nature of the process without gross hypocrisy.

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