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Seconded for the relationship formation argument. Its the only true constant variable cross society, even factoring in economic incentives for and against having kids. Italy, Spain, Greece never had a population control policy and thier birth rates plummeted. France maintained relatively (for western white society) ok birth rates, as did Nordics for awhile. Thailand has abysmal birth rates while Vietnam putters along decently.
Economic incentives, social mores about cohabitation, overstudying culture... they all form the ceiling and floor of a fairly generous action space people can act within to socialize pairbond and eventually have kids. The real problem is that many modern societies treat dating as a clear cleave between two phases, working vs schooling, and once you're working your schooling dating experience if any counts for nothing. People reset their preferences on the moment for what they want, which while valid for any number of reasons often boils down to "I changed my mind for reasons I don't care to understand or reflect on" which ISN'T valid. Discover why you changed or you'll never understand why you keep failing!
I will concede that smartphones really changed the game for information accessibility and preference shaping. That is directly shaping not antinatalism - those assholes are unhappy regardless of whether they have kids, just like all the childless celebs who openly launder their mental illnesses that stop them from "wanting" kids in the first place - but socmed IS shaping partner expectations. Men don't actually want to date a gamer egirl thot, women don't want a sensitive artsy softboi. Both are lessons only learnt after dating a bit and realizing ones own preferences and adapting to real life.
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