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naraburns  nihil supernum  1yr ago (text post)   32790 thread views

Culture War Roundup for the week of February 20, 2023

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I am not sure how to interpret this part. Is it a bad thing for women to date men in a different "attractiveness percentile?" Why?

It is bad for them and society. Imagine a high school with 10 girls and 10 boys, they graduate, and pair off. Ideally, they'd find someone about as attractive and successful as them or some combination and you'd have 10 couples. What actually happens is that all 10 girls end up rejecting all but the top boy for dates. The one guy then bangs the 10 girls for a while until he ends up settling down with the #1 or #2 girl, and now there are 9 women who have spent ages 16-30 in meaningless relationships with a guy they never really had a chance with. Meanwhile, guys 2-10 have not gotten any dates at all, and now are 30 and depressed and the unlucky girls go running in search of the next version of #1 guy until they are 35 and settle for mr #5. Then they divorce him ten years later because they still, deep down, think they have a chance with Mr #1. Meanwhile guys 6-10 never get a date at all for the rest of time.

I am skeptical there is empirical data to support the idea that this is an accurate description of reality.

That aside I'm not sure I see what the problem is. If the ten women would rather spend time dating one guy than dating different guys that seems fine? It's their lives. This description makes it sound like all the women who aren't eventually going to end up with the man they are dating are wronging the other men by not dating them but I don't think that's true.

I am skeptical there is empirical data to support the idea that this is an accurate description of reality.

This is based on dating app data and divorce filings.

That aside I'm not sure I see what the problem is. If the ten women would rather spend time dating one guy than dating different guys that seems fine? It's their lives.

I suppose you could look at it like that, but its a cause of low fertility, and basically every woman who ends up in this situation regrets it. There is substantial polling data that women want more children (in the US) than they end up having, and a large cause of this is early-20s hypergamy loops that result in them not marrying until far too late.

This description makes it sound like all the women who aren't eventually going to end up with the man they are dating are wronging the other men by not dating them but I don't think that's true.

Its bad for them and the men, and they are the ones in control of the situation. That is an accurate description of the situation. "Wronging" is not the word I'd use, but it is bad.

This is based on dating app data and divorce filings.

Can you link me the data? The data I'm aware of for divorces shows upwards of 70% are by mutual consent. And similarly over 70% of men aged 18-30 reported having sex in the last year. That is mathematically impossible with the top 10% of men monopolizing women.

I suppose you could look at it like that, but its a cause of low fertility, and basically every woman who ends up in this situation regrets it.

Citation?

There is substantial polling data that women want more children (in the US) than they end up having, and a large cause of this is early-20s hypergamy loops that result in them not marrying until far too late.

Citation that the "hypergamy loops" are a cause of marrying too late?

Here's some of the dating app data.

https://gwern.net/doc/psychology/okcupid/index

https://goodmenproject.com/featured-content/women-say-80-of-men-are-below-average/

Here's the divorce filing data

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/finding-new-home/202203/why-women-are-much-more-likely-men-initiate-divorce

Women aren't having as many children as they want

https://www.nytimes.com/2018/02/13/upshot/american-fertility-is-falling-short-of-what-women-want.html

Citation that the "hypergamy loops" are a cause of marrying too late?

That is just an obvious inference given the data we have.

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