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See I'm a tad older than 17 and have been told by many people that once I find the right people in college, my situation will change drastically. I'm just venting about this right now, as that notion sounds so inconceivable to me, operating on my observations from the first 19 years of my life. I could and perhaps should wait another year to see what happens, but right now I feel suffocated.
I think you're right to be wary of the "just wait til college" advice. You're not going to arrive on campus and suddenly everyone is an open-minded philosopher who you'll form an instant connection with. Also fuck that. Don't wait for happiness later; try to be happy now!
I had similar concerns at your age, and have always struggled with forming deep connections with people. Something I've found is that the key to being interesting is being interested, and everyone can be fascinating with the right mindset. Don't assume different interests automatically means a lack of compatibility. I'm friends with everyone from ambassadors to farmers to communist labor organizers, and my life is greatly enriched by all of them. Learn to savour the differences the way you would a varied diet. The last woman I want to date is myself with tits.
Here's something I tried that seemed to work for me. Have two goals for every single human interaction: learn something new and mention one positive quality about the person you're interacting with. It helps generate positive emotions in both directions, and encourages you to instinctively look for for the good in people rather than the bad, fostering meaningful connections.
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I get that. That's exactly how I felt at 17-18, then all of a sudden everything "clicked" with girls and I went from being dateless from roughly 2004-2010, to rotating through four different girls the summer of 2010 before going to college. For me, the inciting event wasn't actually going to college, but primarily when I got into a horrible car accident on my way to a college visit. T boned by an f350 at an intersection, essentially unconscious for a week, out of school for the better part of a month. I'd been texting with four different girls beforehand, all of them were likely to friendzone me later on based on history, but then I just disappeared. And that was the trick, reappearing weeks later with some scars ultimately closed the deal with all four of them. That was the sudden change of perspective that changed my luck.
For a lot of Americans that is college, because you're suddenly in a whole new social ecosystem and your old status isn't important anymore. I remember in high school we had one buddy, Jerry, who was kind of the butt monkey of the group. The dre of the group. We were friends, but we all kind of made fun of or denigrated him, he was a dork, a naif, a loser, nebbish, unable to seize the initiative in any situation. At the poker table, he was the fish. At basketball, he was bait despite being 6'2". He wasn't dumb, but he wasn't top of the class either.
Then we went to college and a year later he was a frat star. Because he made new friends who didn't treat him like shit, and met new girls who didn't see him get treated that way. There he was just a 6'2" blond beast of a man, and he asserted his rights like anyone else.
So, take heart, have hope, It Gets Better.
FWIW if we're doing male-lifetime-hotness, your absolute hotness will probably peak around 22-26, when you have a lot of potential but you won't be expected to have done too much yet, and your body is in its prime. Your relative hotness might peak later, but your true prime is right in front of you.
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