site banner
PaperclipPerfector  8d ago (text post)   2698 thread views

Small-Scale Question Sunday for July 12, 2026

Do you have a dumb question that you're kind of embarrassed to ask in the main thread? Is there something you're just not sure about?

This is your opportunity to ask questions. No question too simple or too silly.

Culture war topics are accepted, and proposals for a better intro post are appreciated.

2
Top Bottom Old Controversial Comments
Jump in the discussion.

No email address required.

I've lost a lot of weight over the past six months, I'm now under 200lbs. I'm a quarter-inch shy of 6ft. I'm apparently handsome. I'm a bartender, I've done stand-up, I'm an accomplished Dungeon Master, I can hold a conversation and be charming. I dress well. A guy friend said "I don't see how you could have any problem dating, dude, look at you." I know he was trying to be encouraging, but hearing it it just crushed me inside. I get less interest from women now than I did when I weighed 240lbs. Part of this is that I just became less outgoing over the past two years, because when I would try, I'd just have experiences that made me hate people. Women would start conversations with "Men are all such trash, amirite? Such-and-such media is So Queer, so-and-so film is Incel, what are your Pronouns? Astrology, Gaza, Orange Man, there's too many white people around here, I'm neurodivergent and asexual." The other week, some woman I'd spoken to before and been shot down by came over to me at my local bar and inserted herself into me and my friends' conversation, talked over both of us, then said she was going back over there, I could come join her if I wanted to. "There" was over by the guy she had come to the bar with. I didn't take her up on it, few things disgust me more than a woman flirting with me when she's already on a date with someone else.

It sounds more like you have a regional culture problem than a dating app problem. Have you ever considered moving to someplace where the women like fishing, camping, and complaining about abortion?

No, because I've lived in places like that and there are literally no single women there, and I'm not interested in fishing or hearing anyone complaining about abortion.

Fair. I do think most people end up having to listen to their partner complain about politics a bit, whatver their cultural constellation of political complaints happens to be. What is your preferred subculture?

People will talk politics. Unfortunately, too many of the people I encounter regurgitate political slogans at each other as a form of social interaction, and I keep getting the urge to offer my actual opinion, which is typically not the Party Line.

My preferred subculture is Old Geek.

Ah, yeah, I do think that women are still wildly outnumbered in geek subcultures, even though it's not so socially damaging as it was, mostly just what people are drawn to, I think.

I'm not sure about the political sloganeering. I don't much care for it, but also y husband and I often slide into complaining about culture war stuff from our respective message boards. My mom was always listening to conservative talk radio in the car as she drove us places (literal Rush Limbaugh), but I suppose it's a good sign if you offer your actual opinion, and she reciprocates without too much moral indignation? Almost my first conversation with my now husband was him criticizing the president of Georgia, who had made a program I joined and liked, and me being irritated about it, because I was grateful for the opportunity. I'm a bit confused by whatever current feminism is going around, but sometimes I read conversations here, or have encountered very conservative families, and have some sympathy. I'm not sure where the thoughtful centrist women are looking for men these days, unfortunately, but it seems like the where is probably the bigger question -- it doesn't seem to be on dating apps, and they're also concerned and frustrated about not having an obvious place to meet good men.

Well, the problem seems to be that a huge proportion of the women in geek subcultures have become woke leftists who view straight men as defective gay men. They snarl and seethe at anything and everything.

What is this place?

This website is a place for people who want to move past shady thinking and test their ideas in a court of people who don't all share the same biases. Our goal is to optimize for light, not heat; this is a group effort, and all commentators are asked to do their part.

The weekly Culture War threads host the most controversial topics and are the most visible aspect of The Motte. However, many other topics are appropriate here. We encourage people to post anything related to science, politics, or philosophy; if in doubt, post!

Check out The Vault for an archive of old quality posts. You are encouraged to crosspost these elsewhere.


Why are you called The Motte?

A motte is a stone keep on a raised earthwork common in early medieval fortifications. More pertinently, it's an element in a rhetorical move called a "Motte-and-Bailey", originally identified by philosopher Nicholas Shackel. It describes the tendency in discourse for people to move from a controversial but high value claim to a defensible but less exciting one upon any resistance to the former. He likens this to the medieval fortification, where a desirable land (the bailey) is abandoned when in danger for the more easily defended motte. In Shackel's words, "The Motte represents the defensible but undesired propositions to which one retreats when hard pressed."

On The Motte, always attempt to remain inside your defensible territory, even if you are not being pressed.


New post guidelines

If you're posting something that isn't related to the culture war, we encourage you to post a thread for it. A submission statement is highly appreciated, but isn't necessary for text posts or links to largely-text posts such as blogs or news articles; if we're unsure of the value of your post, we might remove it until you add a submission statement. A submission statement is required for non-text sources (videos, podcasts, images).

Culture war posts go in the culture war thread; all links must either include a submission statement or significant commentary. Bare links without those will be removed.

If in doubt, please post it!


Rules


Recommended Posts And Communities

Recommended Realtime Chats