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PaperclipPerfector  5d ago (text post)   17053 thread views

Culture War Roundup for the week of July 13, 2026

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Solution: form your own community.

Been at it for three years. Here's a report I made a year ago:

I've spent the past two years holding regular social gatherings at my house, which is cheap, low-pressure, and I can control the environment to 'guarantee' a pleasant experience. Wrangling adults to hang out together is HARD. Some can't find a babysitter, this one's busy with work or school, that one's just tired and wants to go to bed at 9. So you invite people on the assumption that there'll be a number of last minute dropouts.

I'm active in my gym, which is full of great people but turns out most of them are busy with their own lives. I went through a period of putting together parties, get-togethers, and casual hangouts on at least a monthly basis.

Ironically, my most consistent attendees were the ones who managed to pair off (not with people they met through my events) and thus became... less consistent.

Once again, I find myself one of the few unpaired people in my group. Which makes me now the only one with any time to put in to building events. And I'm trying to reforge my close friend group for like the 5th time in my life.

If I go back and search my past posts as a compendium on my dating attempts over the years, it will mostly have the same complaints, over and over again. I PUT IN ALL THE EFFORT, WOMEN ARE COMPLETELY DISINTERESTED BECAUSE THE APPS GIVE THEM INFINITE OPTIONALITY.

My lament a year ago:

There's also a particular dynamic with females. I specifically try to have mixed-gender gatherings (part of my goal is to get people of opposite sex to form connections and maybe create dates and relationships), but with females in particular, they tend to only want to come if they can 'know' that other females will be there. And if they aren't coordinating directly with other females but instead through me, the organizer, there's an information asymetry. If I tell them "oh yeah plenty of women are coming" how much do they trust my word? So last minute flakes are probably the rule there.

There is exactly zero, zilch NO social pressure on women to actually honor commitments, show up to events if they're not feeling it, or do anything other than passively participate and then leave when something more interesting arises.

This is approximately the same approach they display towards romantic relationships in general.

I don't just have studies, I have my own emperical research over years now. Its the women. The problem is with them.

A close friend in Chicago did something similar with Latin dancing.

Had a friend who did this regularly get me into some classes and social and gave it a good ol' try. ABYSMAL gender ratio. I think all guys have the same idea. Most women that show up bring their own man. I wouldn't mind learning the skill but for finding a partner it'd be a waste of time that could be used on more fruitful endeavors (none of my endeavors have been fruitful in finding a partner, of course).

Any space that has a decent gender ratio won't have one for long if men get the idea that they can show up and have a chance at meeting a single lady. I've seen this in every single context imaginable.

Understand that my cynicism is entirely earned, in addition to studied.

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