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I can relate a lot to this. Minus the 2 years where your dad was "sober". My dad basically had a Coors Light in his hand every waking moment he was at home. And driving. And golfing. He'd have me fish them out of the cooler in the back seat of the car and pop them open for him. Or cover up the open can with a towel when a cop drove by. Outside of small moments like that, I have vanishingly few memories of him being a dad the way you hear about other dads. I don't remember ever playing with him. I remember begging him to teach me things and him never doing it. I remember riding in a old pickup truck with him because that was fun and adventurous. But I mostly remember being afraid of how often he'd fly off the handle.
In 2007 his liver failed and we lost him. Although the cause of that turned out to be a smidge more complicated than the drinking. But it certainly didn't help. I know he strived to be better than his father, and in many ways he succeeded. I suppose you can only ask so much from one man when it comes to changing generational patterns.
Addiction is shot through my family. Both sides. My mom partook of box wine to my dad's Coors Light. One of my uncles also had his liver fail after a divorce. I have a cousin who's addictive personality manifest in literally everything that passes through his life. He also is no longer allowed to drive.
I don't know how I lucked out, but to whatever degree that sort of compulsive addiction is genetic, it missed me. Sometimes I drink when I find a drink I like. Then I go long stretches completely without. I smoke a cigar on the weekends when the weather is nice. But I typically pack that habit away for the winter, or I run out of cigars in my humidor and just plain don't feel like getting more. I have a sweat tooth, but try to moderate it as best I can. I make scones once a month for the family.
When I do drink, I try not to drink in front of my daughter. It just feels wrong. One day when I asked my wife to grab some beer when she was out since I hadn't had any in a few weeks, and my daughter said "Daddy needs beer", something in my heart broke a little.
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