The Wednesday Wellness threads are meant to encourage users to ask for and provide advice and motivation to improve their lives. It isn't intended as a 'containment thread' and any content which could go here could instead be posted in its own thread. You could post:
-
Requests for advice and / or encouragement. On basically any topic and for any scale of problem.
-
Updates to let us know how you are doing. This provides valuable feedback on past advice / encouragement and will hopefully make people feel a little more motivated to follow through. If you want to be reminded to post your update, see the post titled 'update reminders', below.
-
Advice. This can be in response to a request for advice or just something that you think could be generally useful for many people here.
-
Encouragement. Probably best directed at specific users, but if you feel like just encouraging people in general I don't think anyone is going to object. I don't think I really need to say this, but just to be clear; encouragement should have a generally positive tone and not shame people (if people feel that shame might be an effective tool for motivating people, please discuss this so we can form a group consensus on how to use it rather than just trying it).
Jump in the discussion.
No email address required.
Notes -
Not sure how you're seeing this as a failure; it sounds like a reasonably skilled exchange of information that led to appropriate decisionmaking on both sides?
You say you don't want sex outside a longer-term romantic relationship with someone you like. If she's a typical woman, she also doesn't want sex outside a longer-term relationship with somebody she likes and who genuinely likes her. So over the course of the evening, she tried to be honest about her politics while probing you for yours, while simultaneously trying to keep things playful/flirty and make it clear she was physically attracted to you.
I'm not seeing how this could be construed as a "shit test" or as any kind of failure of communication. The reality was that you are mutually politically incompatible and it sounds like you both care about that, so a relationship was always off the table, hence sex was rightly off the table for both of you. I'm sure she was disappointed that this chance encounter didn't lead to a long-term connection with someone of a sympathetic worldview, but again, that was never going to be the case, because that's not who the two of you are. Do you think she would have gotten much out of a sexual encounter with someone who, it later emerged, had "issues and resentments" with her (and presumably was also the subject of issues and resentments on her end, as well)?
But for someone who wants a longer-term relationship, there's not much point in just appearing briefly likeable, is there? Better to be honest.
More options
Context Copy link