The Wednesday Wellness threads are meant to encourage users to ask for and provide advice and motivation to improve their lives. It isn't intended as a 'containment thread' and any content which could go here could instead be posted in its own thread. You could post:
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Requests for advice and / or encouragement. On basically any topic and for any scale of problem.
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Updates to let us know how you are doing. This provides valuable feedback on past advice / encouragement and will hopefully make people feel a little more motivated to follow through. If you want to be reminded to post your update, see the post titled 'update reminders', below.
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Advice. This can be in response to a request for advice or just something that you think could be generally useful for many people here.
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Encouragement. Probably best directed at specific users, but if you feel like just encouraging people in general I don't think anyone is going to object. I don't think I really need to say this, but just to be clear; encouragement should have a generally positive tone and not shame people (if people feel that shame might be an effective tool for motivating people, please discuss this so we can form a group consensus on how to use it rather than just trying it).
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Hmm. I suppose the difference is that women are generally not that interested in casual sex, while men are. It's easy for people of either sex to say something that the other person interprets as indicative of incompatibility for a committed romantic relationship. The sex difference emerges in that, if a man says something like this, the woman he's with probably won't have much interest in having sex with him; whereas if a woman says something like this, that won't necessarily stop a man from having sex with her if the opportunity presents itself. When I was single and horny, a woman whom I found physically attractive would have to come out with some really crazy unhinged shit before I move her to the "don't smash" category.
The difference in this case is that you're not looking for casual sex, but for a committed romantic partner, and you don't want to settle for fucking someone who you find annoying. And you know what? Good for you. I really respect that.
I agree with most of this and similarly give OP massive credit for not having just been a cad and slept with her anyway.
But I can't make sense of the air of resentment, and it's been itching at me all day. I keep trying to figure it out and failing. You seem sympathetic to this POV: do you understand it? Can you explain it to me?
From my end it reads as though they're just two people with decent chemistry who nonetheless aren't a good political match. Why is this presumed to be her fault, and a grievance to be laid at the feet of all women? OP feels contempt for her profession and hates her language and doesn't think he should have to disapprove of people who catcall 16-year-olds, and he reads her flirty remarks in a maximally uncharitable way, fine, dude, whatever. But how is it enraging that she might also disapprove of his politics in turn, or that she doesn't do more to win him over for a one-night stand that would be an objectively terrible idea for both of them?
Why is it OK to find out she's a sociology grad student and be repulsed (while still being physically attracted), but if she (while also being physically attracted) tries to figure out if he supports catcalling, it's an ideological shit-test and marks her as an unpleasant person?
I am genuinely lost and could really use a steelman here.
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