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PaperclipPerfector  21hr ago (text post)   802 thread views

Friday Fun Thread for September 11, 2026

Be advised: this thread is not for serious in-depth discussion of weighty topics (we have a link for that), this thread is not for anything Culture War related. This thread is for Fun. You got jokes? Share 'em. You got silly questions? Ask 'em.

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some random thoughts:

  1. in a friendship, there needs to some sort of see-saw of the status. (status games like mentioned in Impro - Keith Johnstone). in this comic, the boyfriend is "lowering" himself by all the moves like paying for everything, will take care of her, you are in my dream, never mean. But that is a permanent lowered side of him and she is always high. In general, higher status is a good thing, but not when it is permanently done.
  2. in a deep friendship (or love relationship), the most important point becomes: shared register. matching of interests. recognition. "i see you", and "i see you too". In this comic, the GF feels (correctly) that he doesn't see her actually. there is no common register for them, nothing shared, nothing discussed together, no to and fro exchanges. whatever she says, he never sees that, ignores that (error of commission or omission), which is why she feels so bad. but because he is doing lot of other status lowering (and hers higher) things, that whole discrepancy lands in the way of "am i the wrong one, am i spoiled".

Zhuangzi story: A bird of sea landed in Lu. The king was ecstatic. He put the bird in the royal palace, gave a 15 course feast in its honour, played the best classical songs for it, and best wines. The bird was sad, refuses to eat, and then dies in 3 days. Moral: the king never saw the bird as it was or what it needed. no recognition. he did what he considered the best (from his POV). the GF is the bird here.

Same for you probably. without a common register (even if it is some sort of 700 questions), you don't feel an acquaintance as "true"-friend. you don't feel "seen". and that correctly dissatisfies you.

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