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Culture War Roundup for the week of March 6, 2023

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I'm sorry, but stripped of the anger and bitterness, @f3zinker is right, you literally do not know what you're talking about. You seem to be describing what the men in your social circle tell you. It's rather shocking that it doesn't seem to have occurred to you that you should perhaps not take this at face value.

Because most men do, in fact, show a revealed preference for long term relationships.

Most men show a revealed preference for long term relationships eventually. Yes, most men do desire to eventually settle down with a monogamous partner and have children (though if we're being honest, an awful lot of men would prefer the monogamy be strictly one-sided, which is why we had religion and social disapprobation so that even rich dudes couldn't just sleep around indiscriminately without some consequences). The fact that men, like women, have a natural desire to have a family is not mutually exclusive with a natural desire to bang every chick they can while they have oats to sow.

Because most don't necessary want to sleep with ever larger numbers of bar girls looking for a hookup.

No, most men don't want to sleep with "ever larger numbers of bar girls," they'd usually be satisfied with getting their fill while they are young, and the exact number varies from dude to dude. While most guys don't really want to be sleeping with a different woman every night forever, your rather touchingly naive view that down deep we're all just looking for our waifu is not really true. Some of us settle down faster than others, some of us really do just want to find The One and aren't interested in "bar girls," but almost all men have a desire (even if it's restrained by mores or religious beliefs) for an awful lot more sex than most of us are able to have, at least when we're young.

Because going to a bar, drinking, trying to pick up women etc.. takes some effort, is a use of a Friday evening he might spend with his friends or family, spend playing videogames or getting stoned, because four hours work for a reasonable chance of a few minutes of pleasure isn't actually a great deal?

You seem to be projecting what you think sounds like a good time onto men. There are undoubtedly men who'd rather spend time getting stoned or playing videogames that bar crawling, but most of those men just don't think bar crawling would result in them coming home with a girl, and if they had better success at that, getting stoned and playing videogames (or even spending a Friday evening with friends and family) would be less appealing.

Like, I'm sorry, but almost every (single, non-religious, straight) man, if you told him "Go spend the evening in a bar and you will 100% come home with a girl who wants to bang you" is going to go spend the evening in a bar. Maybe not every single night, but definitely they'd be doing that more than staying home to get stoned and play videogames. Yeah, even the really successful ones might get tired of that eventually or meet someone they really like and want to settle down with. But that's mostly a function of getting older and feeling social pressures.

Perhaps my opinion of men is too high, but I think most men who don't pursue sleeping with huge numbers of women don't do so because they don't want to, not because they can't.

Your opinion of men is not too high, it's just very female-centric. You think it would be a bad thing for a man to want to sleep with large numbers of women, so you convince yourself that "good" men, "responsible, decent, mature" men, don't actually want to do that.

They do. Maybe some of them didn't because in your circles that's just not done (openly). But most men who don't do it, unless they have strong religious or other reasons not to, absolutely would do it if they had the ability. Note that this doesn't mean every man is into the bar scene, specifically. There are plenty of men who don't want "bar girls" even if they could easily get them. But abundant, willing sexual partners, from whatever their preferred dating pool might be? Absolutely. They may be limited by their dating pool (trying to bang every chick in high end London banking circles wouldn't work out well), but again, that's a "can't," not a "wouldn't."